The Thirty-Something Bride

The New Website!

2010-02-07T07:23:00.004-06:00

The Thirty-Something Bride has a brand new website! Grab my new button for your own page, or just click on the link!

What's so great about the new website?

Recaps of my own wedding!
Fresh ideas on decor and design for both weddings and home interiors!
Contests!
Wedding Features (contact me if you're interested)!
Budget saving ideas and DIY projects!
The occasional snarky post (some things will never change)!

You can sign up to get the new RSS feed here. That way, new posts will show up in your Google Reader. I also Tweet. And, you should really follow T30SB on Facebook.

See you on over at the new site.

Hey You, T30SB Followers! Yes, YOU!

2010-01-05T12:55:00.005-06:00

Source

Come follow me on my new site http://thethirtysomethingbride.com.

Click right HERE to subscribe!

That way, you'll get all my updates in your Google Reader or Feedburner or whatever your blog-reading poison is.

Come on, you know you want to......

And how cute are those freakin' Twitter stockings? Not that I'd ever buy them, but they are too cute!

NEW BLOG SITE! NEW BLOG SITE!

2010-01-02T16:05:00.003-06:00

OK, so I got it done.

Ta-Da!

Go here, y'all.

You can find and follow me at:
www.thethirtysomethingbride.com

I've got my own freakin' domain name (no more blogspot!)- BOOYA! Book mark me. It will make me feel SO important.

I'm still updating some pages and stuff, but the guts and glory are all there for you to enjoy.

New Year, New Blog? Not So Much...

2010-01-01T22:59:00.007-06:00

I was totally hoping to surprise everyone with a great new blog design for the New Year, but alas, I have not worked it out. I had a mini-heart attack earlier today in my attempts to update and write my own code. It worked in the test-blog I set up, but then I tried it here and I thought I'd lost all my links and followers and all this happened right as The Candyman wanted a quick smooch. Right at that moment I was freaking out. I was a bit of a Bitch and had to go apologize. Thus, I have given up for the time being on the blog redesign and have opted to write one instead. Go figure.

So where was I?

Right, I was threatening my family with imminent death if they sneaked peeks at the blog. Why? Because I got most people pictures for Christmas! I have to say, I am most impressed with myself. I was able to get a Photo Book made on-line, printed and sent to me at astonishing speed. I'm sure you are all familiar with the fancy-schmancy books you can buy from your photographer, InkuBook or Mac iPhoto. I got mine through MyPublisher, which I found through Costco's on-line photo section (hello, 20% discount!). I simply uploaded all the photos I wanted to tell the story of our wedding day, arranged them in the style of book I wanted (this took me ALL DAY) and had the printed versions in my hot, little hands a mere 3 days later! Totally bad-ass. We got the 15" x 11.5" size with a linen hardcover. If I could do it over again, I'd get the leather cover and pay the extra $$$. The linen cover is very nice, but it tends to fade in areas where it's touched, almost like it's getting dirty. Ew. However, I love my book and so do both sets of parents!

These are just some different shots of the pages so you can see all the different ways to set it up. You can also add text and all sorts of frames and such. It was actually really fun to do! If you're really interested in seeing how it turned out, send me your email addy and I'll send you the link to My Bookshelf on MyPublisher. The book was 47 pages and had 125 photos and was under $90 with my Costco discount!

I also took our engagement photos and loaded those into a small, paperback book as a secret gift to The Candyman. I put a few lines of "tender feelings" along with the photos. I don't know how much he liked it, but I liked making it for him!

I'll tell you what The Candyman was definintely happy about....the Wii I got for him! Look at that smile!

Ho! Ho! Ho!

I will be getting back to the wedding recaps starting with my next post! Now that all has been revealed, I can start posting my fav pics! Ooooh, I can't wait! I can't wait! It's like Christmas, all over again!

I do want to share with you one of the amazing sights that The Candyman and I saw in our Christmas travels.

Yes, the plate says TITMAN. Awesome. What was funny was that the driver noticed I was taking a picture and gave me a strange look as we passed him. I swear, I will never understand people. Never ever. I mean, how could I not take a picture of it?

P.S. I just noticed that I lost all my blog links in my sidebar. Swell. Just swell.

The Kiddie-Poos

2009-12-21T09:07:00.005-06:00

I know a lot of other brides struggle with whether or not to invite children to the wedding. We did too. At first I was like, "Absolutely not! No rugrats allowed!" Then I thought about having a flower girl and how can you have a flower girl and no other children? Well, that seemed ridiculous to me. But what we finally decided (after much debate and struggle) was this: the whole reason we were even having a wedding was because we wanted our closest friends and family to witness our union. We believe that the people we invited to our wedding will be those people who stand up for us through thick and thin. We think that when the going gets rough, these folks will be around. Many of these people we love and adore have children, especially since The Candyman and I are thirty-something. Lots of our friends got a running head-start on the procreation thing. In some cases, if we didn't invite the kids, the parents probably couldn't come. All that just seemed to negate what The Candyman and I were trying to achieve with our wedding in regards to the importance of family.

We were quite lucky that our venue offered the perfect solution. Since we had a whole house buy out at Mere Bulles yet we did not need all the space, we were able to sequester the kids away upstairs. It turned out AWESOMELY! One of the rooms upstairs had a drop down movie screen. So we hooked the ankle-biters up with a few DVD's, a kid-friendly menu and a few babysitters. Have I mentioned the babysitters? No? They are none other than fellow local brides Miss Kriss and Sarah Elizabeth!

Look how effin' cute they are!

These wonderful ladies came to my rescue in my hunt for babysitters! I was trying to go through a service to get some reliable sitters, but that was a dead-end. I did not want to sign up and pay for some lame service since I only needed babysitters for ONE NIGHT! And guess what folks? When you don't have kids, sitters can be hard to come by. I definitely wanted someone over the age of 18 so some of my friend's high school kids were not in the running. I was stumped as to how to find anyone. I was complaining to Miss Kriss one night at the gym (she was such a wonderful sounding board!) and she totally offered to help me! She enlisted Sarah Elizabeth and I was all set! You guys (meaning Miss Kriss and Miss SE) totally rocked my world with your willingness to help out a fellow bride-in-need! Many thanks to you both.

As I mentioned before the wedding I had a kid's table all planned out. Their favors were old skool Cracker Jacks and I had a massive centerpiece filled with candy. From what I hear, the kids were totally jacked up on candy all night long. Sweet!

It looks like this had already been raided.

Look at this little puffin face! How cute, right? I love how Mere Bulles hooked them up with kids cups too!

The Flower Girl and her brother reach for a well-deserved treat.

After the adults had finished eating and toasts were made, we invited the kids down for cake and dancing. A few of the older kids wandered down, but most of them stayed upstairs for the most part. Here are the Flower Girl and her brother again, totally zoned out on a movie.

Although, some kids definitely wanted to get their boogie on. I couldn't resist this one as a dance partner.

I find a few things odd about this shot. First, I'm clearly gettin' down with my girl. Second, the parents watching? Not her parents. Third, is my mom standing barefoot? I think this was at the end of the night anyway, but it sure was fun. I do remember I was dancing to a song that I LOVE to dance to, Blame It On the Boogie by The Jackson 5. It's back when Michael still had black skin, a real nose and Tito was stylin'.

Craving Michael's sweater vest and belt. Hot.

Yuck it Up

2009-12-18T09:19:00.008-06:00

STOP!

WARNING!

MOM AND/OR DAD - DO NOT READ THIS POST OR I WILL KILL YOU! I LOVE YOU BOTH DEARLY, BUT I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT THIS POST. YOU WILL RUIN CHRISTMAS FOR EVERYONE IF YOU DO. DO YOU WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING CHRISTMAS FOR EVERYONE? I THINK NOT. AND WHILE I'M AT IT, AUSTIN AND/OR CHRISTINA - YOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS EITHER. I CAN THREATEN YOU TWO WITH DEATH AS WELL, BUT YOU ARE BOTH CRAFTY, INSANE PEOPLE WHO WOULD GIVE ME A RUN FOR MY MONEY IN A DEATH MATCH. SO, I'M JUST GOING TO TRY TO GUILT YOU INTO NOT READING THIS POST. DO NOT RUIN CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

And back to the recaps.......

The great thing about a First Look scenario is that you get all the pictures out of the way (for the most part) prior to the ceremony and the reception. I am so glad we did this. Any of you with an ounce of Type A coursing through your veins - I highly suggest the First Look. Why? Because I was SO impatient! I was ready to get my reception on.

So after the first look, we had some more formal shots taken as well as some fun ones. Jonathon Campbell, photographer extraordinaire, has a photo-journalistic style, but managed to capture some really great formal portrait styles as well - all with just a hint of flair and personality. And when I say personality, I mean ours, not his. His photography shows off the personality of the people in front of the camera, not behind it.

The Candyman and I crack each other up all the time. We talk all the time. We make faces at each other all the time. We are cheesy and goofy and we don't care. We are so not cool, but I think we do a good job at faking it when we need to. Jonathon was able to capture that in ways that were endearing and charming and just plain romantic. What's great is that our families are the same way! Both are goofy and cheesy and fun and I am so glad we got that vibe captured on film! Below are some of the images that capture this spirit. While they aren't the ones that I will have matted and mounted and hanging in the living room, they are the ones I think I love the very most.

Typical. A shit-eating grin on The Candyman's face and me cracking up!

I absolutely adore this photo. Joshua, The Candyman's brother and Best Man is the wittiest creature I know. He can be so dead-pan. It's awesome. Joshua also has what The Candyman refers to as "The People's Eyebrow." I think this has something to do with the wrestler/actor The Rock, but I have to admit, my knowledge of the WWF is limited. Both The Candyman and his brother have the same eyebrow thing and Joshua is showing it here. I'm sure the look followed a snarky comment that set The Candyman into hysterics.

This is The Candyman and one of his other brothers, Preston. Preston was paralyzed when he was 18 years old (he's 40-something now) and has just the most incredible spirit. Wheelchair or no, those two behave like any other siblings.

OK, I've got to preface these next couple of shots. My MOH is not one who laughs or smiles a whole lot. She never really has been. It's not that she's grumpy or unhappy, it's just got to be something really funny for her to laugh. Her children are very similar. They are not unhappy children, just somewhat serious, like their mother.
Here we are about to get some shots of the The Flower Girl and the MOH and me. As you can see, the FG is taking this very seriously.

Jonathon took a couple of shots with the FG just sort of standing there looking at the camera. She wasn't smiling and looked a little scared. Sharon, Jonathon's partner in crime, gingerly asked her, "Do you think you can give us a little smile, honey?" And right on cue:
Stunner!

Jonathon (or maybe the second shooter?) immediately got this shot right after:
Me and the MOH cracking up at the FG. She went from this sad-looking little girl right into happy mode at the gentlest of prompting. It was too funny!

As I've mentioned several times before, I had to have some "help" in filling out my dress. Not familiar? You can read about it here. Here's my MOH in a moment of jocularity over the new wedding day cleavage!

And then me, checking out the girls myself:

My mother will totally hate this picture of herself, but I love it. She's totally laughing at me for some reason and clearly I'm enjoying myself too!

From the smug look on my brother's face, I know he's probably said something disgusting and/or completely inappropriate. However, since we're family and we all have a totally twisted sense of humor, we think it's funny too.

Now, this last shot might be my most favorite picture of all time. For reals. I'm not exactly sure how this started, but my brother and I have been doing this for decades. If I'm remembering it correctly, he and I were young and were acting up (Southern for misbehaving) one day. Someone (I want to say my dad, but it could have been my mom) told us to knock it off and to stop acting like little cretins. The adults left the room and I asked Austin what a cretin was. He made this weird face at me and made a strange sort of snorting noise and said, "That's a cretin." I mimicked him the best I could and said, "Like this?" And he said, "Yeah, like that!" And thus, The Cretin Face was born. It lives on to this day. Behold, The Cretins.

So it's Friday and this is the last weekend before the holidays. If y'all are as behind as I am then it will be a crazy-insane weekend, no? The beginning of next week is going to be so off-the-hook for me that I'm not sure how much posting time I can get in! Besides, The Candyman and I are heading out to The Carolinas to visit families so will be on the road quite a bit. If I can't get in any good posting time I want to say the following:

Merry Christmas to you. Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish peeps. Happy Kwanza to those who celebrate it. But to all, regardless of how or where you celebrate this time of year, I wish you peace, love and all the happiness and health that The Candyman and I are blessed to have. Please be safe in your travels - look out for the other guy as he might not see you. Please don't drink and drive. Lastly, thank you to all of you who have followed and who continue to follow me in my writing and rants. You have made my wedding journey unforgettable in so many ways. Happy Holidays everyone! More recaps to come!

How YOU Doin'? The First Look!

2009-12-17T09:35:00.005-06:00

Thank goodness Jonathon didn't get any pictures of me trying to get into my Dad's car in the wedding dress! It was too funny! I was thinking that I'd shimmy across the back seat and sort of lounge to keep my dress from getting wrinkled. However, the back door didn't open up wide enough for me to back in without the dress potentially getting all up in the door jam and stuff, so I quickly abandoned that idea. My dad moved the front seat back all the way and I climbed in, arranged my dress just so in order to avoid it touching anything and we were off to Owen Chapel!

We got there just as The Candyman was climbing out of his car and I started screaming, "He can't see me yet! He can't see me yet! DAAAAA-AD! Drive around the other way! Drive around the other way!" Tabitha (my fab planer) was in front of the church and I rolled down the window and yelled at her, "Keep him away! Keep him away!" I have no idea why I was so frantic as we we going to officially see each other about a nano-second later. But anyway, Tabs went running across the parking lot and kept The Candyman at bay so that I could climb out and sequester myself away in the back of the chapel!

We got all that taken care of and arranged for The First Look. There are two definite camps when it comes to The First Look. Some vehemently oppose the idea. Others just don't give a damn. I was vehemently opposed to the idea from the very start. Bad luck, you know. However, as time went on, I realized that I wasn't as opposed as I thought. In fact, I totally switched camps. Why? I feared I would be so nervous that experiencing walking down the aisle and the ceremony would be consumed by my whirling brain activity versus paying attention to what was going on right in front of me. The one thing that calms my nerves? The Candyman. I knew that if I saw him before The Big Show, that all my fears would disappear, if I had any. It turns out I was amazingly calm, but getting all the pictures out of the way was a huge time saver and I'm totally psyched we did it!

The Candyman was set up inside the chapel and I entered through the doors behind the pulpit area.

I wonder what The Candyman is thinking! He looks quite devious here.

Hey, baby! You clean up good!

I just love this shot. The beautiful simplicity of Owen Chapel makes me so happy. So happy.

Just practicing!

You know, it's kinda hot in here. Oh, and please look at my sew in bra-cup and teeny boob. I wonder how many people I flashed that night? Hm..... That's what happens when you lose weight right before your wedding. Things start moving around.

Practicing my exit solo. Just kidding. I was just going outside for more pictures.

I want to let y'all know something important. I am NOT posting my most favorite pictures or the best of the best of the all the best that I got from Jonathon Campbell Photography. Why? Because Christmas is in 8 days people! There needs to be SOME element of surprise. Sheesh!

So until December 25th, y'all will have to make do with what I consider my second favorites! Don't worry though - I'll share all in due time. Patience is a virtue, right? RIGHT????

Let's Get it On

2009-12-16T10:01:00.008-06:00

The dress, that is.

After I chilled out with my BFF and had something to eat, it was already time to get dressed. WHERE WAS THE TIME GOING? So fast, so fast. It all goes by so fast.

I was worried about getting into my dress as it was going to have to go on over my head. Compared to my hips, my waist is small, so there was no way I was going to be able to shimmy my ass into the dress by stepping in. Trust me, I'd tried several times at my fittings! However, I decided to give it a go anyway since I could not see how my little 5'2" MOH was going to put the dress over my 5'10" head without a comedy of errors ensuing.

My effort was proof positive that I'd lost weight that week. I was actually afraid as I'd put weight on the week before that! I think my nerves and all the craziness just melted a few pounds off. My dress was just a teeny bit big. This wasn't an issue until later (the chicken cutlets were involved).

Here's my MOH locking me in!

One of the detail shots that JCP got really surprised me. I was using a jewelry bag that my MOH gave me as a gift when I was her MOH. They had it hand-embroidered with my initials. How lovely, no?

Once I had my dress on and my dad showed up, we got the veil on and I was ready to go! I had already done my MOH's make-up and fluffed her hair so were we all set!

I'd like it to be known that the look on my face at this very moment is one I am glad not to have on film. I think I was freaking out looking at myself in the mirror with the dress and veil and all. I know it sounds weird, but as long as I wasn't looking at myself, I was doing A-OK in terms of my nerves. I started avoiding mirrors whenever possible.

I love that Pops is carrying my shrug!

"Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get ma-aa-aa-aried."

Something Borrowed

2009-12-14T22:50:00.006-06:00

Once me and the MOH got back from gettin' our hair did, I was able to breath in and out for a few minutes, eat my sammy and enjoy a little Prosecco. Aaaaaah....Prosecco.

I have to back up just a small, teeny bit in order to go forward- like about 10 or 11 years ago.... Y'all know Charlotte Russe, right? Well, back in the day there were only 20-something stores and all of them in California. Well, I lived in LA and was an assistant manager and a store manager for them. I have to be honest, it was SO much better then. It was kind of like a less expensive BeBe's - not the crappy junk it is now (so depressing when I go by it in the mall). Anyway, I met this chick Barbara, another assistant manager there and we did not get along. She was kind of snooty. I think she thought I was kinda pushy (Who? Me?). I'm not exactly sure what changed about that between us, all I know is that we were suddenly friends. It might have been the fact that we caught each other rockin' out to Rick Springfield's "Jessie's Girl" one day at work. I think that kind of broke the ice, if anything. We weren't just co-workers, we were friends. I consider her mother and father to be my surrogate parents. They hosted me on holidays when I couldn't go home to see my parents because of our stupid jobs and having to work bullshit retail hours. They were my second family.

Years after I had left California (Barb and I are still in the same field and saw each other at trade shows every few months - so cool!), Barb fell over a filing cabinet at work. To date, she's had several knee surgeries and a major back surgery to try and fix the on-going, never-ending saga of workman's comp and horrible pain that really and truly wasn't her fault. She's dealt with countless lawyers and doctor's and it just sucks. It sucks that I can't make it all better for my wonderful friend.

The up-side to this depressing tale is that she was able to get on a plane for the first time in many, many years and make it here for the wedding! Right before I started getting dressed for The Big Show, Barb stopped by the room. She brought with her my "something borrowed."

If you can't tell, that's a QUARTER sitting in the middle of that wedding band. The ring belonged to one of Barb's father's Norwegian ancestors - clearly a giant man. The ring is very old and has been to hundreds of weddings. It is considered a good luck charm and has been in the pockets of grooms and groomsmen. It has been tied into the bouquets of brides. It has been present in the purses and pockets of wedding guests - all to bring the happy couple good luck.

I too, tied this giant ring into my bouquet. It seemed appropriate to have a part of my second family, the people who care for me and love me as much as my own, join me on my wedding day. The most important thing of all was having my dear friend Barbara as a witness to our ceremony. It would not have felt right without her. I am so blessed to have her in my life.

Once Upon A Time.....

2009-12-14T06:30:00.004-06:00

....there was a Thirty-Something Bride. This is the story of her wedding day.

I woke up early that day, but not too early as I had dosed myself the night before with two (count 'em TWO) Tylenol PM's (for those of you not in the know, The Thirty-Something Bride has serious sleep issues). The house was quiet as The Candyman was staying with his brothers. I got out of bed and walked over to the window. For the last 2 months Nashville had been plagued with torrential downpours, much to my planning chagrin as October is historically the driest month in Nashville. Keeping this in mind, crossing my fingers and squeezing my eyes tight, I grabbed the turny-thing on my blinds and opened them. I opened my eyes. I started to bawl - from sheer happiness! There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining. I prayed to myself, "Dear God, I freakin' owe you one. BIG TIME."

I had planned for my mom, dad, brother and sister-in-law to come over for coffee prior to the start of the wedding day madness. I just wanted to spend a few minutes with the people who know me best. I wanted to be free to freak the fuck out, if need be. Happily though, I was calm. I was in need of some waterproof mascara though (what if I cry!) so made an early a.m. run to Kroger. I also swung by the drive-thru Starbucks and ordered the usual: Grande Skinny Hazelnut Latte, extra hot, no foam (it took me a about a year to figure out how to order it). I proceeded to tell the drive-thru barista of my pending nuptials. Um, duh. Like, I'm not going to freakin' tell every single person who doesn't already know?

As I was driving back to the house, a car flashed it lights at me for some reason. It was early in the morning, we were on a nearly deserted road - what the hell? I slowed and saw why: to my far right was a large group of deer. They decided to cross and were coming around the bend to do so (which is why I didn't see them and why the other driver "flashed" me). About 9 of them picked their way across the road while we waited. The last, a doe, paused right in front of my car and turned and stared right at me for about 3 seconds, then followed her team into the forest. It was like she was saying, "Yeah, I know it's your day, but you still have to wait for me. Have a good time." Seriously folks, I'm not making this shit up.

I had a lovely, but brief time having (more) coffee with my family. They calmed me, in their own weird way. I knew I had to be at the hotel to pick up my MOH at a particular time. For some reason, I equated the time I needed to be there, with the time I left the house. Um, duh! Already late! Happily, it was Sunday morning pre-church time in Nashville (trust me folks, you do NOT want to get caught in post-church traffic - it blows!) and I hauled ass to the hotel in no-time flat. My MOH was waiting outside (God love her!) and she hopped in and we were off - right on schedule!

We arrived at J. Bangs Salon and Julie arrived a few minutes later (yes, I was slightly worried for about a nanosecond) and we got to doin' the 'do! Jonathon, Sharon and Tabitha arrived shortly thereafter and we were off and running!

I had a slight amendment to the up-do from the trial and was just slightly nervous. No worries, Julie knocked it out of the park!

Hair done, sans make-up.

I just LOVE Julie's expression here!

The MOH in her active role as Social Historian.

DIY hair toys? Check!

Sooooooooooooo relaxing!

Julie's palette.

Once we had our hair and make-up done, we sent Tabitha (my planner) on a quick run across the street to Bread & Co. to grab us some grub! Seriously ladies, you MUST eat. If Tabitha had not insisted, I probably would have passed out from hunger later during the day! With to-go sammies in hand, we jumped in the car and headed back to the Hilton to finish getting ready!

Jonathon rode with us!

We look like a couple of hippies! Love it!

I know I mentioned this once before, but I felt so pretty the day of my wedding. I highly recommend a make-up artist if it's in your budget. As y'all know, I blew my budget in the beauty area. I. Don't. Care. I didn't care then and I don't care now. I was just soaring I felt so pretty.

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

Sorry. Channeling my inner West Side Story fantasy. Stay tuned for more!

Sportin' my Wedding Chicks t-shirt!

I will say this and I will keep saying it. I LOVE MY PHOTOGRAPHER.

Baby, It's Effin' C O L D Outside!

2009-12-11T09:37:00.005-06:00

Seriously? SERIOUSLY? It was 19 degrees out this morning. Nashville is NOT supposed to be this cold. This is like bullshit Chicago cold, and my dear bloggo-buddies, I DID NOT leave Chicago because of it's balmy fucking weather.

I left Chicago in January of 2005. I had my kitties tucked in the back seat along with as many plants as I could haul in my car (they all died, by the way). I left on January 25th and had already dug my car out of 12+ inches of snow four times. As I was heading out on I-94, it started to snow. I rolled my window down and flipped Chicago the finger. You can take your lake-effect freezing temperatures and shove them up your ice-cold butt, Illinois.

This rant comes on the heels of some new information: that I will be heading overseas in January. Oh, the joy that is my life. I HATE going to China in the winter. It's even more depressing than it already is. Dirty and cold is less tolerable than dirty and hot, in my opinion. Some might argue this point with me, but I'd tell them to go spend 8 hours in an unheated factory and then decide.

I have been able to avoid this scenario for the last couple of years. I've been able to travel in March and April when the weather is more predictable. Perhaps wet, but not cold. Not this year, oh-budget-conscious-friends. I gotta go when they tell me to go and January it is. Mother-effer. I am NOT looking forward to the weirdness that is the Chinese (and perhaps other cultures, I'm not sure) way of dealing with the cold. I don't think they believe in heat. I know that many areas lack the resources to heat their establishments and I get that. In some cultures, they believe that multiple people in a room with heat will make everyone sick as hell. There is some merit to this theory, but germs live in the cold and heat, folks. I was in a meeting in a high-rise building in Hong Kong in January several years ago. The room was small and the window was WIDE open. It was below freezing outside. I closed the window (I'm the customer, I can do that). I left the room, came back and the window was open again. I closed it. This little back and forth went on a few more times before I closed the window, turned around and said, "I'm freezing my ass off. If any of you open that window one more time, I'm outta here." It stayed shut. However, a small room in Hong Kong does not compare to a 50,000 square foot factory showroom that doesn't even HAVE heat. Standing on a concrete floor for 8 hours does not a happy Thirty-Something Bride make.

It is SO hard to pack and know what to wear. I have to look somewhat "professional" so it's not like I can wear some ski pants and call it a day (I have contemplated this). Lots of times I go directly from an airport to a factory and back to an airport all in one day so it's not like dressing for the tundra can be easily accomplished. Also note that winter gear is bulky and heavy and I have to pack for about a month and be able to transport all my own luggage (including laptop roller/paperwork) solo.

On top of all this bullshit, I have what's called Raynaud's Syndrome. Basically, it's a response to extreme cold. Blood vessels in the hands and feet appear to overreact to cold temperatures or stress. With Raynaud's, arteries to your fingers and toes go into what's called vasospasm. This narrows your vessels dramatically and temporarily limits blood supply. Over time, these same small arteries may also thicken slightly, further limiting blood flow. The result is that affected skin turns a pale and dusky blue color due to the lack of blood flow to the area. Once the spasms go away and blood returns to the area, the tissue turns bright red before returning to a normal color. When all this lovely stuff happens - it HURTS. The tips of my fingers/toes start to feel like they've fallen asleep. Then they go completely numb. Where the vessels have clamped shut and the blood stops flowing is where the pain is as the blood start to pool and cause pressure. When the vessels finally open up (gotta get them WARM!) the blood rushes in and that hurts too. It sucks.

So instead of investing in what I would like to buy the lovely holiday season:

Hello over-the-knee Stuart Weitzman. *le swoon*

I'm trying to figure out a decent pair of WARM boots that won't weigh a ton and look somewhat cute and can be yanked on and off at airports without have to completely undress myself.

These are kinda cute and have an elastic stretchy thing on the back. I think these would be an easy on-off boot.
These have a bit of a groovy factor to them, but not sure how warm they would really be. I like the stacked heel though - puddles.

These Sketchers look delish and zip on the side.
These are on the cheaper side and still cute and potentially warm.

Anyone got any suggestions for warm boots? UGG Boots are out, just so ya know. I refuse to pay $200 for giant slippers. Warm, yes. Practical in any sense of the word - no.

P.S. All the boot pics are from Zappos. I'm a VIP member. LOVE them.

"Kick-Ass!" or "A Merry Little Christmas to Me!"

2009-12-10T11:21:00.004-06:00

Are you familiar with Bright, Bold and Beautiful? No? You should be! Laura offers up some fantastic design ideas. She's aslo an amazing artist in her own right. She paints pretty watercolors. See:

Go look at her Etsy Shop too.

Anyway, she had a coolio contest a few weeks back and I won! God, I love contests. I mean, I love having them (I get so excited, it's sick) and I love winning them. It's always such a great surprise because I don't ever think I'm going to win.

Laura's contest was for Etsy shop (you know I loves me some Etsy) Carla's Custom Creations. I get to choose something off her Etsy shop or have a custom item made. I'm loving this thingy:

Cute, right?

Randomness

2009-12-08T10:19:00.005-06:00

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I've got a few things on my mind that maintain no cohesiveness whatsoever.

1. I realize that I have not finished the budgeting recaps. I'm waiting to get my pictures to recap all the other ooey-gooey love stuff and how the day went. I should have those pretty darn soon.

2. Christmas is a mere 18 days away. Holy effin' hell. I am SO behind. One of our neighbors has this electronic Christmas Countdown thing in their front yard. They put it up the day after Thanksgiving and it counts down the days, hours, minutes and seconds until Christmas in big red lights. I have to drive by it every day. That sign mocks me.

3. Why aren't the red Serrano peppers I need available anywhere? I have been to 4 grocery stores (including the K&S Mercado Internationale) and cannot find red ones, only green. WTF? Is there a "season" for the red ones?

4. I have a severe case of Blog Envy. It's true. There is a bridal blogger out there who I love. Everyone loves her. She's new on the scene and I'm super happy for her blogging success. However, the bitch refuses to follow me. I stalk her blog. I leave comments. I do all the things a fellow blogger should do and nothing. NOTHING. Why does this bother me? Because I want really cool people to like me. It's true. I'll admit it. We all do, right? The whole, "I don't care what other people think" is bunch of bullshit because if that were true, we'd all be getting married in sweats after The Top Chef finale. OK, well maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get my drift.

But seriously, why won't she follow me? Why doesn't she comment? I feel we are slightly similar in our styles and approaches, yet I get no love. None at all. I follow 80 bazillion blogs. I don't comment half as much as I should, especially to those who are regular Thirty-Something Bride readers (shout outs to A Los Angeles Love, Sarah Elizabeth, A Bride in Boots and Big Spoon, Little Spoon who always give me comment love). However, when I get into Google Reader, I get lost in the DIY blogosphere and the next thing I know, it's midnight and The Candyman gets pissed if I stay up too late and leave the lights on, etc. I can't help it - I get distracted by the likes of Design*Sponge, Poppytalk and iDIY.

It makes me sad (and slightly irritated) that I have this evil blog envy. Why cannot I just love what I have (like all you loverly followers!) and not what I don't have? Hm. Perhaps that was just an "aha" moment.

The Winner!

2009-12-07T07:30:00.000-06:00

Oh, I have to say that I am SO freakin' excited to announce the big winner of the Florrie Mitton Couture wedding garter! I have to say that I am super excited for her because she was one of my very first followers! We had many-a-offline conversation about lace (she made her veil too!). She planned her NYC wedding in four months (!) and now lives in London, planning her second wedding in Taiwan! Amazing! Congratulations to Miss Chic 'n Cheap Living!

Girl, email me stat so I can give you the super-secret code to share with Claire so you can claim your custom garter! And how appropriate that you won, considering she's in Lancashire!

Thanks to ALL of you who made this contest such a rousing success! I really appreciate the tweets, blogs and comments! I *heart* my readers. It's true.

The Ceremony , Part II

2009-12-02T20:31:00.005-06:00

I know it's a blurry one (my friend claims she was bawling when she took it), but I just love how The Candyman planted one on me!

As I mentioned before, The Candyman and I totally lifted several parts of our ceremony from fellow Bloggers as well as from traditional wedding ceremonies. I have no shame in admitting this because what we found from others was incorporated into how The Candyman and I chose to commit ourselves to one another. How you do that is completely up to you and your fiance.

We found a part of our ceremony through one of my favorite budget brides at 2000 Dollar Budget Wedding. She had created a list of favorite ceremonies. We stole part of our ceremony from Peonies and Polaroids.

Here's how it started:

Officiant:

The Candyman and Louise want to thank each of you for coming today to share in this very special time in their lives. Those of you who have been invited here to witness Louise and The Candyman's wedding ceremony and to celebrate with them today will play your part in their marriage too. There are only two official witnesses at a wedding but each and every person here today will witness the words that they will speak to one another and the vows that they will make. You should take good care to remember these words; for a marriage needs the help of a community, of friends and family who will be there when needed and will do all that they can during hard times to stand by Louise and The Candyman and offer their support to them and the new family that they will create. May you always do all within your power to support the union that will be made here today and to nurture the bond between these two people whom you love.

Throughout time countless millions of people from many cultures, religions and societies have gathered among friends and families to celebrate their love for one and other and their commitment to each other. Each culture has symbols and rituals to celebrate marriage from the Japanese tea ceremony to the Jewish tradition of breaking the glass, a rich tapestry of traditions from around the world combine to symbolize the meaning of marriage. And today we should try to remember that a wedding is a symbol, a beautiful, heartfelt and meaningful symbol but a symbol nonetheless. This ceremony is not magic, it will not create a relationship that does not already exist and has not already been celebrated in all the commitments The Candyman and Louise have made to each other, both large and small, in the days since they first met and recognized their connection to one another. It is a symbol of how far they have come together and a symbol of the promise that they will make to each other to continue to live their lives together and to love each other solely and above all others. And it is in the spirit of these symbols that The Candyman has prepared a poem titles The Great Concatenation and has asked his friend James Monroe to read for us.

The Great Concatenation

At dawn, the morning fog crowds

About church steeples as if pausing in meditation

Before beginning the day

And in that quiet stillness

I belong to you

The light of the setting sun

Glinting off grain silos makes me pine for you

I can't explain why

In your eyes, there lies

The pulsing flirtation of fireflies

Hovering about paper lanterns

Suspended effortlessly in the summer night

The space between us aches me,

As seas of mist converge above my head in cloudscapes

Like weightless gray elephants in some distant caravan across the sky

There lies a part of you to delight me in all the beauty that I behold,

From the eerie astral eye of the Hourglass Nebula

To the gooey center of a perfect grilled cheese sandwich

The thread of you is woven through the firmament

Even our very atoms were once the embers of ancient stars

But through some great concatenation

We have arrived here in this moment finally whole

To revel on the miracle that is us.

Yeah, my man wrote a poem for me on our wedding day. How bad ass is that? I'll write about our vows later in the week. Dallas is kinda sucking. They call it Dall-ASS, Tex-ASS for a reason, folks.

DON'T FORGET TO ENTER THE FABULOUS FLORRIE MITTON COUTURE CONTEST!
ENTER HERE TO WIN A CUSTOM MADE WEDDING GARTER!

The Ceremony, Part I

2009-12-01T07:14:00.004-06:00

This is an auto-post. Just so you know. When you read this, I will educating others on the beauty and splendor that is my January 2010 release (home decor is like, so much later than RTW fashion). We can only hope that it's a smashing success.

In the meantime, there are things I have yet to share about the wedding. Big, beautiful, lovely things that you simply must know.

Our ceremony, if anything, was totally lifted from a host a resources. The Candyman, being the wordsmith in the house, had final say over the vows and I completely trusted him in this endeavor, even though I did fight with him on some things. With time, I saw he was right.

Th template we used came from our wonderful officiant, Minister Ralph Griggs. Minister Griggs is a wonderful, non-denominational minister. Since The Candyman and I don't belong to a church here but wanted to marry in a House of God, the combination of Minister Griggs with Owen Chapel was personally, the best for us. We could not have asked for more or better.

Minister Griggs has a wonderful (and easy) Ceremony Planner that covers the basics of any Christian ceremony. If he performs the ceremony, the guide is free. You can edit the guide at will to meet your religious and commitment needs (that sounds like a commercial, "to meet your commitment needs, call us!").

He also has at At-Home Marriage Preparation Course that comes free with his services. The Candyman and I found this course very interesting! If you take the course, you save $60 on your TN marriage license. Since The Candyman and I believe in counseling, we didn't have to complete the course, but we got through most of it anyway because it was so interesting. It asks really interesting questions that you don't normally think of. For instance, there was a question that asked us what we would each do if we won a million dollars. Like, for real. Don't be all, "Dude, I'd totally go to Vegas, and then Prada and then buy a phat crib." If you both say that, then um, you might have some issues later in life - I'm just sayin'. What was cool is that we both had the same answers - just allotted differently. My plan was to save most of it, pay off law school loans and help family members with the rest. The Candyman had pay off law school loans, help family members and then save the rest.

For some reason that small activity gave me a huge feeling of being bonded to The Candyman in a new way. It gave me such a comfort to know that while we may not have agreed on percentages, our priorities of what was important to us was similarly sound. The entire course was laid out in much the same way. Simple activities that gave you pause to think and compare. As I have mentioned before, I think counseling either by a priest, minister or counselor is always a good idea.

WEDDING TIP #9 - If you do decide to go to a counselor, therapist, shrink, guru, minister, priest or shaman - know this: if either of you are unhappy or uncomfortable with the individual chosen to assist you in your couple's training, you should choose another.

The Candyman and I had started counseling with an individual who was horrid. HORRID. I cannot and will not tell you the things this woman said to us. "Bu-bye" was what we said to her. Do not feel you have to stick with someone who makes you unhappy, simply because they are a professional in their field. Properly trained people in the field of therapy should make you feel positive after a session. They should encourage you to look inward, seek resolution, practice new behaviors and to be open and honest without being hurtful or unkind. Sometimes these practices are painful and difficult to work through. However, the person who is trained and who you pay to give you sound advice should prove trustworthy to you and your partner. I'm just sayin'....

Anyway, I can't gush enough about Minister Griggs. He performed our ceremony with feeling and with intent. Several people commented on the ceremony and how they liked how we incorporated certain elements. We are just so thankful that we were able to find a minister who was willing to give us the ceremony that The Candyman and I dreamed of having. We both had a little concern about that, living in what can sometimes feel like the buckle of the Bible Belt. The Candyman and I were raised with Christian backgrounds, but neither of us has ever found "home" in a particular church, so we don't go. The churches in Tennessee can often be a little conservatively aggressive to our more liberal thinking. Knowing that we could honor our God as well as ourselves and our beliefs was such a wonderful relief to us, a very natural and obvious choice.

Thank you, Minister Griggs for a wonderful service. We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your role in our wedding celebration!

Coming soon - The Ceremony, Part II or How The Thirty-Something Bride and The Candyman Lifted Their Wedding Ceremony from Fellow Bloggers. It could go either way. Stay tuned!

P.S. I had some pictures planned to post with this, but Blogger is uploading black squares at this very moment. My apologies for lack of visual stimulus.

DON'T FORGET TO ENTER THE FABULOUS FLORRIE MITTON COUTURE CONTEST!
ENTER HERE TO WIN A CUSTOM MADE WEDDING GARTER!

Contest Time! Contest Time!

2009-11-30T07:39:00.000-06:00

Oh, you guys are so lucky. I totally want to back up two months and wear a garter like this! Well, I can live vicariously through other brides quite well, so I hope you all enter this fabulous new contest!

Remember a couple weeks ago when I showed all those pretty garters from Florrie Minton Couture? No? Well, go here and read about it.

I just love the look and style of these beautiful garters so much that I had to offer them as a contest! Had to! Good thing Claire, the brains, brawn and beauty behind Florrie Mitton, was game.

Alright, alright. I'm getting to the contest already. Claire has most graciously agreed to offer one of her available styles (your choice) to one incredibly lucky reader. Don't see the perfect garter? That's OK. She'll just go ahead and create a custom-made garter just for you. Yes, ladies. You read that correctly. Custom-made. All for you. For free.

So here's what ya gotta do. And of course, the more you do, the more entries you get!

1. Go to Florrie Mitton Couture and pick out your fave style. Since Claire doesn't have a blog yet, go ahead and add her to your favorites on Etsy if you are lovin' her stuff like I do.
2. Come back here and leave me a comment. (1 entry)
3. Become a follower if you aren't already or tell me that you're a current follower. (2 entries)
4. Tweet! Tweet! Tweet! Ya gotta follow me on Twitter so I can read it! Don't forget to tell me you did! (3 entries)
5. Re-post this contest on your blog and let me know you did! (4 entries)
6. Get the word out there about these beautiful garters! If you post the info on another wedding board or chat room, please include the link in your comment! (5 entries)

This contest will run all week long while I'm slaving away at a conference in Dallas. The contest will close at midnight on Friday, December 4th! Get your entries in! Have fun!

It's Coming......

2009-11-29T19:12:00.001-06:00

The new contest, that is........

Bright and early, tomorrow morning! Make sure you check it out! :)

I CAN'T WAIT!

Holiday Stats - Thus Far!

2009-11-27T19:31:00.003-06:00

Just a quick check-in on what's happening thus far in the Thanksgiving Holiday festivities of The Thirty-Something Bride and The Candyman. .

The Potato-Off was a bust. The Candyman's mashed potatoes where too loose to be tasty. I went with my own personal concoction of Twice-Baked Potato Casserole (layer mashed potatoes caramelized onions, chopped bacon and sharp cheddar cheese and repeat and bake) was too salty.
I braved Black Friday and went to Green Hills Mall (for you non-locals, it's the fancy-schmancy mall in Nashville). I'm about $150 lighter in the wallet (thank you, Sephora and Express) but got a lot of stuff. Disappointed in the J. Crew selection.
I also went to the reader-suggested pedicure place. The service was better, but the atmosphere wasn't quite as pleasant. Hm, conflicting nail spa quandaries to ponder at a future date.
In my shopping absence, The Candyman brought down Christmas stuff from the attic. WITHOUT BEING ASKED TO. How fabulous is that?
I have my first new hair brush after like years with my other brush. Isn't it like, unsanitary not get a new brush or clean your current one. I am so gross.
I am seriously considering taking the last piece of pie. I have already had a giant piece today WITH Cool Whip (that shit is so effin' good). The Cadyman has already had WAY more than his share. I need to covet the last piece.
New Moon was a total bust. Even the C6PA (Crazy 6-Pack Abs) of Jacob could not lull me into the level of stupidity needed to get past Bella's bad breathing/acting. And that's saying a lot. I am easily swayed to stupidity. Particularly when it involves C6PA.
I ran into my college freshman roommate at Green Hills Mall. I haven't seen her since 1989. How. Weird. Is. That. I'll tell you: very. I just couldn't get over the fact that she looked exactly the same. Has everyone in the world stopped aging, but me?

So, THE CONTEST.... Are you ready for it? I am so excited. I think you guys are really going to like it. I'll have it all ready to go on MONDAY! Don't miss it!!!

Cookin' Up A Contest! (and "I Wish" Wednesday!)

2009-11-25T09:49:00.006-06:00

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What's cookin' over here at The Thirty-Something Bride headquarters? Well, it ain't just a deep fried turkey, my friends. A contest, that's what! I am so, so excited, you have no idea. Here's just a little hint for what's in store....

1. De-vine. De-Gorgeous. De-Lovely. De-Lish.
2. There's customization involved.
3. Etsy, so you know it's groovy.

All will be revealed soon enough. Until then, you're going to have to make do with the hints!

Besides, everyone will be so stuffed with turkey tomorrow, it'll be tough to rouse anyone into any sort of excitement. Unless you're going to see New Moon, that is (like me). It's OK to admit it. Here, I'll go first: I am physically attracted to a 17 year-old boy named Taylor Lautner. In some states, that's perfectly legal (for instance, North Carolina). Surprisingly here in Tennessee, it's not legal. But come February when he turns 18, he's as legal as they come. So technically I am considered a perv, but only for 3 more months.

GOBBLE! GOBBLE! GOBBLE!

I'd like to give thanks to all of our Armed Forces both domestic and overseas and to their families at home who will be without their soldiers tomorrow.
I want to give thanks to my friends and family who I hope are blessed with happiness and good health.
And my wish is that (now and for always) when there is a person in need, someone will reach out a helping hand.
I want to give thanks to The Candyman, because he effing rocks! Love you, Baby!

Happy Thanksgiving, y'all!

The Worst of 2010

2009-11-24T10:27:00.004-06:00

I was thumbing through the 2010 bridal collections and looking for divine inspiration for....something. I'm not sure what. Maybe I was just ogling the best of Zac Posen and Vera.

*le sigh*

At any rate, I found myself aghast at all that is hideous in the bridal world. Now, I get couture, I really do. I am a huge fan of the detail and workmanship that goes into and and I understand why it's so expensive. What I don't understand is why designers would choose to adorn the human body in a way that is so unattractive is beyond me. Beauty may be in the eye of the holder, but this is my blog and I say what's ugly around here.

Hi, Slut! Is that a whip in her hand? Just curious.

Lady GaGa meets Maddona circa Like A Virgin meets a small bag of sheer material.

Clearly, she pissed about something.

"This is ground control to Major Tom..."

*****
I'm speechless. I can't even come up with a snarky remark. It's that bad.

But what about the bridesmaids? Oh, we've got those too.

She's the MOH. The maids are hiding in her skirt.

Merry Christmas!

Any bride who makes another woman wear a dress like this needs to have the ever-loving crap beat out of her.

So you know, I just thought I share some fashion faux pas with you. I'm not going to share the designers names with you simply because I would hate to promote The Ugly in any way, shape or form. However, all the pics are from here. It's not the photographers fault they had to shoot dresses that look like a bag of assholes*.

*Slang cred to Marizzle. Word.

Back to Budgets

2009-11-23T12:39:00.008-06:00

Seeing that it's Monday (blech) and I have a cold (sniff/cough/wheeze), I thought I'd get back to the nasty task of budgets. So far we've determined this:

1. I was on/under-budget on the venue because I am an idiot.
2. I was over-budget on my dress because gown preservation is effing expensive.
3. I was under budget on flowers. Hooray!
4. I was over-budget on beauty because I am a vain, vain woman.
5. We were over-budget on transportation, but there were LOTS of factors that screwed that up.

Here are some quickies:

We were slightly under budget on the ceremony. Why? Because we saved $60 on our marriage license that we got by going to pre-marital counseling, which cost us $35 a visit. Hmmmm, wait a minute.....

WEDDING TIP #8: GO TO PRE-MARITAL COUNSELING! There is no shame in it. There is no admission of guilt that your relationship sucks. It means that you are a caring, thinking, committed individual who wants to have a successful relationship. Period.

I'm going to touch on this further. The Candyman and I are still going to counseling. Why? Because we care for each other. And because we totally don't know how to fight. I come from a non-confrontational, southern, white, Anglo-Saxon Episcopalian approach to arguing: never in public, never in private and only behind some one's back. The Candyman has a dad and four brothers: fight it out until some one's bleeding, then call a truce. You can see how our arguing styles differ. Neither is right, but it's what we know so we have to learn our way of fighting. That can be super-duper hard and it clearly takes lots of practice. Our therapist is our coach. She listens, tells us where we made mistakes and we practice again. Even Tiger Woods has a coach and needs to practice.

Groom's attire was on budget - that one was easy. Sadly, because our wedding party was not large, we did not get the groom's tuxedo for free. Whatever.

I guess were over on gifts. Sigh. Over budget again. I knew I would be getting presents for people who played a part in the ceremony, like our friend who read a poem (I'll talk about the ceremony soon, I promise!) and for our "ushers." I also got a gift for our planner. I intended to get her some token something or other while I was overseas. However, I saw an oil painting that I loved and bought that instead! It was the right thing to do simply because it felt like more of a heartfelt gift than some lame earrings or something. Tabitha ended up being such an amazing addition to the planning process and to our celebration, I couldn't have done it without her! I also spent a little more money on The Candyman's gift than I intended, but it was SO worth it!

The Candyman doesn't wear a watch (I have no idea how he does this) and I decided to get him a nice one, for when he goes to court to do his attorney-ing. I was looking all around and found nothing that really was him. Around that time, I was off having coffee with Tabitha and we were walking back to our cars and we noticed that something had moved into the abandoned gas station on 12th avenue. It was imogene & willie. If you are local, you must go here. Must. Cool stuff galore, including the 1974 Bulova Accutron watch. The Candyman was born in '74! Perfect! The version above is just slightly different than what I got him. It doesn't have the swoopy face frame - it's just plain. It does have the original leather band though and it was in perfect condition. It took me all of about 5 seconds to buy it.

What did The Candyman get me? Oddly, he bought my present right next door at Moda! He bought me an original Julia Martin painting. She is my most favorite local artist. The painting The Candyman got me is the second one from the left on the bottom row.

It was the most perfect present ever! Thanks hunny-bunny-puffin-face-schmoopy-pie! He thinks I knew what my present was. How? Because I just happened to run into Julia at my Girl's Night Out soiree. I was pretty sure I had convinced her to give me the last of her paintings in her Grey Garden series as a wedding gift. She was a little tipsy, as was I, so I think that makes the arrangement null and void. However, I mentioned it to The Candyman and he thought I was baiting him! How ironical.

What did you get for your hunny-bunny-puffin-face-schmoopy-pie? Are you giving gifts? No one say ya gotta, just so you know.

CALLING ALL POTATOES!!!

2009-11-22T13:01:00.005-06:00

All right folks, here's the deal. I need some help. Today, The Candyman and I started discussing out Thanksgiving Day menu. We have decided that we are going to have The Newlywed Thanksgiving Feast and invite ourselves, naturally.

We are going to test out our new baby deep fryer and deep fry a small breast. The Candyman will make ham. We agreed on grilled broccoli with bleu cheese as the "veggie." Hardly a fibrous dish with all the cheese, but who cares. It's effing Thanksgiving!

I'll make a cranberry mousse and we might have dressing and biscuits. We still haven't figured out dessert, but we have decided to have a potato-off. We are going to see who can make the dankest potato dish. He makes some really dank mashed potatoes that totally beat mine so I'm going to have bring out the big guns. I know there are things I want to have in my potatoes:

Bacon (um, duh.)
Cheese

I think I have a running chance at the title of Potato Master if I also involve heavy cream, another pork, sour cream and maybe some bread crumbs of some sort. I want to make potatoes au gratin on crack. I've got my mom's recipe that is pretty darn nasty. There are cheese and bacon involved in that recipe, but I think he's had it before. I think he's expecting it.

I need a recipe. I need a deep, dark, dank potato dish that will bring The Candyman to his knees. I want it to be so good it'll make you wanna slap your momma. I've got one I'm thinking about, but want options. If you have a nasty-naughty-dirty potato recipe, please send it my way. Know a good recipe link, tell me that too. You can post as a comment or send to my email at thethirtysomethingbride@gmail.com. You want me to win, right? You know I'll for sure feature the recipe here! :)

Wedding Harmony

2009-11-22T12:30:00.005-06:00

If You're not familiar with Vicki Grafton and My Simple Details, you should be. Vicki planned her own Bali wedding and it's been plastered all over the place. I'm sure you've seen in on Style Me Pretty or even recently on The Budget Savvy Bride's Wedding of the Week. Anyway, Vicki was the planner for the event in the below video. The camera work leaves a little to be desired, but it wasn't like it was being filmed by a real videographer (at least I HOPE not). Still, you get the gist. Really clever and those guys can SING!

Enjoy.

Best Groomsmen Medley from Vicki Grafton on Vimeo.

The Piggy Bank Effect

2009-11-19T11:46:00.004-06:00

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OK, before I totally get back into the budget recaps, I'm going to share with you a little Saving Secret. Now, The Candyman wasn't quite on-board with this process until the week before the wedding when I showed him all the cold, hard cash. 'Nuff said after that. As unconventional (or perhaps old school) as this may seem in today's world of ATM's and on-line banking, it really did work. Here's what I'm talking about. I'm going to call it The Piggy Bank Effect.

As I'm sure a lot of you who are paying for your wedding yourselves know, ya gotta save a lot of money. That's hard, especially in today's bullshit economy, right? To save the big dollars, I set up two automatic transfers with my bank that happened once at the beginning of each month and once in the middle. The first transfer was a large one and went along with my mortgage and such. That's always a sparse time of month anyway, so I just made it worse - on purpose. Money is a mind game - make sure you play with yourself. *OK, just typed that, realized what I typed and am totally not changing it. I totally advocate play-dates with yourself.*

The second transfer wasn't as big, so when that payday came around, I felt sorta rich and not so poor. That was nice.

Now here's where The Piggy Bank Effect took place. In addition to the above savings, I played another little game with myself. I took out about the same amount of money I did every week prior to financial lock down (anywhere from $40-$100). I took HALF of that money every time I did and distributed it into envelopes that were going to be the CASH payments that were due the day of the wedding. I had envelopes for the officiant, the DJ, our Packard driver Reggie, the chapel, the ceremony guitarist and Julie at J Bangs Salon.
By not having as much cash in my wallet, I spent less. I gave up Starbucks, pedicures and recreational shopping (this was some what replaced by wedding shopping so I didn't feel deprived at all).

The other thing I did was steal money from The Candyman. Yes, ladies - it's true. Whenever I did his laundry, I'd check all the pockets for loose change and bills. The bills went into the envelopes and the change into a big glass jar on top of the fridge. The Candyman caught me doing this and started sneaking in money himself! It was awesome! Team effort! The weekend before the wedding, we took all the change down to Publix and put it in that change machine thing. The Candyman and I made a pretty serious bet on the total. He won. I have yet to make due, but I never back out on a bet. I can't remember the total, but it was around $80 or $90! Sweet!

By doing this over the course of 10 months, we saved over $1000 in those stupid envelopes! And, all my payments were ready to go, labeled to the appropriate vendor! I think that made Tabitha, my planner, happy.

Don't trust yourself not to tap the envelopes of the change jar? Appoint a trusted source to hide the money from you, if you can. Or count the money together as a team and promise not to touch it, week to week. That way, you are both accountable. If you need to tap it for an emergency (this does not include the new Jimmy Choo collection at H&M), make sure you talk about it first.

I'm going to guess that most financial analysts would not condone my savings methods, suggesting I transfer that money into an account on a weekly basis. But seriously, I had a lot more fun this way. I could see the dollars adding up and it gave me GREAT pleasure and satisfaction to seal up each completed envelope one by one. Even The Candyman was surprised at how much we had saved by pilfering from ourselves!

The great thing about this now is that we can continue to do it. I'm allowing pedicures back in the mix, but it doesn't have to be bi-weekly, as was my prior addiction. The Candyman and I go out to eat again, versus tuna casserole and my "pasta bake specials" that we seemed to live on during our engagement. We allow ourselves trips to Publix instead of Wal-Mart, because Wal-Mart sucks (but damn it, it's cheaper!), we like the produce better and we can dance in aisles to the music. It's fun.

"I Wish" Wednesday

2009-11-18T16:03:00.002-06:00

Source

I would like to know how it is humanly possible for me to still not have enough time in one day to get everything done I want to get done and not be up at 5am and to bed at midnight.

I want to know. There are freaky people who do that crap. Seriously. Does it involve methylamphetamines?I want to know.

Let's see, there' work.....always a pain in the ass. I try to get to the gym 3 times a week (yeah, last month I went TWICE...all month long. And I wonder where those extra pounds came from. I think I know.) I get home, cook dinner (or nuke soup), read the mail, watch ONE nightly show, answer email, try to catch up on Google reader and then suddenly, it's like 10:30pm and since I'm old, I have to go to bed. How is that possible?

There are way too many thing I want to do. Like:

Sew veils for an Etsy shop
Make ribbon necklaces for an Etsy shop
Make hair toys for an Etsy shop
Start my Christmas cards
Start my Christmas shopping (OK, I have done that already)
Start going back to Bikram Yoga
Figure out my Christmas wrapping theme for this year (I like when it all coordinates)
Bake some banana bread with the frozen bananas in the freezer
Go see New Moon with The Candyman
Get a facial
Get a pedicure
Write my friend Abby her long over-due email
Figure out if I want to have a baby

You know, just stuff.
I wish I had more time. That's my wish on this Wednesday. I think I might have wished for more time once before on a wishful Wednesday. I can double-up, right? I think so. It's my blog, right? Right.
Happy Hump Day, party-people.

Inspired by The Inspired Bride

2009-11-17T20:50:00.003-06:00

I have not been a big fan of the garter toss or the bouquet toss, for that matter. The history behind the garter toss is not one that brought a whole lotta "Yes! Let's do that at our wedding!" sort of feeling to the planning process. The idea was nixed before it was even considered. However, if you'd like an interesting read on the history of the garter toss, please go and read it here. Shouldn't all brides know the history behind the tradition? I think so.

That being said, Holy Garter Toss! Did I see some awesome garters today. I hate direct re-posting of info out on the Wedding Blog-o-Sphere, but I just can't help myself. Just look at these and you'll get why I just have to. This blog cred totally goes to The Inspired Bride because she's the sassiest on the sidewalk, posting such fabulousness as this.

These beautiful creations make me wish I wore a garter, just for the hell of it. These are by Etsy shop Florrie Mitton Couture. Couture indeed. Since I didn't price garters out at all, I have no idea how budget-friendly they are. The last photo there of the garter in the box is $25. Hell, I pay that. It's oh-so chic. Yes, please.

So go to her Etsy shop and get a garter.

Nail Art

2009-11-17T08:56:00.007-06:00

I'm taking a break from the budget recaps to share what I think is becoming a trend - and a scary one at that. Nail Art. Little did I know that there are entire freakin' websites dedicated to nails and nail art. Have I been living under a rock? Perhaps I've just been slightly distracted by The Martha and Style Me Pretty to look further into the depths of fashion.

Now, y'all know I did my best to grow my nails out for The Big Show. I was boo-hooing about it here. I didn't do such a great job. Neither did my manicurist. But in the end, everything really was fine.

So, I'm flipping through the October Vogue (I'm still a little behind in my magazine reading) and I see this article about Nail Art. Now you know if it's in Vogue there's got to be some validity to the trend, right? I mean, come on. They don' just make that shit up. Do they? I don't think so. And if you do think so (or know so), keep it to yourself. I like my fantasy world.

So I found one of the places on-line that Vogue talks about. It's called Valley and it's in NYC. It's a real kooky kind of site. However, I thought I'd share with you a few things I found there. All photos courtesy of Valley.

This shot is what prompted me to blog about this. LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT EFFING DIAMOND! My question is this: why in God's name would anyone detract from that ring with a hideous bedazzled NY on their ring finger? Sadly, money and good taste do not go hand in hand.

Mmmmm, Klassy.

I'm sad this picture is so small. You can't see the double-knuckle ring that reads "MelisciousB." Goes well with her Paul-Stanley-esque nails.

"There's a party goin' on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years. So bring your good times and your laughter too. We're gonna celebrate and party with you. Come on now - Celebration! Let's all celebrate and have a good time! Celebration - we gonna celebrate and have a good time." Nail fashion by Kool and the Gang.

I like the light gold tips. Pass on the bling though.

This is about as far as I would go. I actually think this is kinda cute.

Please enjoy this budgetus interruptus.

Transportation: Another Budget Blower!

2009-11-15T16:31:00.007-06:00

While the spaghetti sauce de-frosts downstairs, I'm going to start my blog about our transportation. If any of you read with any regularity, you'll know that The Candyman was truck-challenged the month before our wedding. You can read about it here, if you forgot.

As y'all know, I was so excited about the sweet ride we rented from Owen Chapel to Mere Bulles. Our man, Reggie Slaughter, owns a 1939 Packard. Our service was what you call a "transfer." A transfer is a one-time fee to pick you up and drop you off. No paying for hours while the driver sits and waits while you dance the night away.

Photos courtesy my friend Scott!

Our original plan was to pay for a transfer with Reggie from Owen Chapel to Mere Bulles. We'd get some hot pics with the car from JCP and have a fun ride as newly marrieds!

Well, as the wedding day continued to approach, The Candyman's truck was still in the shop. It was going to be our "get-away" car after the reception. It's big. It's white. It would be fun. At the time he was driving some little rental POS. I was NOT going to be driven away in that thing. I was sure to have issues getting in the darn thing with The Dress and all.

We were seriously just 2 or 3 days to The Big Show and we had no ride. In a total awesome turn of fate, I happened to get a congratulations card from an unexpected source. That card contained $200, cold hard cash. And, thank you very much for the well-timed cash advance!

What I did was I called Reggie at the last minute about doing another transfer. He agreed and even gave us a discount on transfer #2. So, instead of paying something crazy like you might here, we just paid for the transfer twice. Since he wasn't booked, it was last minute, and we had a fun time on the phone together, he cut us a deal.

WEDDING TIP #6: Be pleasant to ALL vendors you encounter, even the ones who try to screw you. Why? Because you never know. Vent later to the hubs-to-be, but never be mean.

WEDDING TIP #7: It can never hurt to ask, so ASK! I got lucky with Reggie and didn't have to pay an hourly rate for 5 hours.

However, as lucky as I got, we still went over because we needed transportation! I could have sucked it up, but by this point in the game, I was like, "Fuck it. We're spending the money." Seriously, be careful here my beautiful little brides-to-be. That "fuck it" attitude, if used without discretion, can bite you in the bridal booty. We got lucky though and I only really had to pull the "fuck it" card once. Oh, OK twice if you count the Beauty Budget. Sheesh.

We also had another transportation issue that came in a little higher than we expected. We knew for the last half of the planning that we were going to need to rent a handicap van to help out some family members. That ended up being a lot more expensive than we thought, but was a necessary evil that we just accepted and moved on from.

So, all told, we went over in our transportation budget by 25%. Yup. That's right. But, if you don't count the magical $200 cold-hard-cash we got, we only went over 10%. Give me a calculator and I can justify anything! :)

How to Blow Your Beauty Budget

2009-11-13T09:00:00.000-06:00

I want to preface this blog post with this: I felt absolutely STUNNING on my wedding day. I think I might have mentioned this fact once or a bazillion times, but seriously, I felt soooooo good. Like, I feel like I knocked it out of the mother-effing park. I cannot remember an occasion in my life where I felt I looked as good as I did on my wedding day. My body felt good (no weird, last minute bloating), my skin looked good (thank you, prescription zit cream) and my hair was exactly as I had envisioned it. I can only hope that all you brides out there get as lucky as I did in regards to feeling so wonderful.

Now, let me tell you about how it cost me an arm and leg to get that way. And, let me also tell you that it was worth EVERY DAMN PENNY.

So y'all know that I had a couple of trials that just didn't work out.

WEDDING TIP #4: If you don't like the end result of your trials - SPEAK UP!

For some reason, when it comes to my hair and my make-up, I am just so unsure about it all. I mean, I wear make-up and I can do my hair to my satisfaction on a daily basis. But when other people do it, I am just in a state of shock or something where I can't speak my mind. I know, hard to believe, right? I think it's why I pay an amount just short of my mortgage to get my hair cut and colored. I trust my stylist because she's really really really good. I just hand over the cash, because I know I won't walk out looking like a total tool. Sadly, my stylist is so good that she doesn't do wedding hair any more. Why work weekends when you don't have to, right? I wouldn't.

So after two failed trials, I was getting desperate. And scared. Tabitha helped me out by suggesting I go to Julie at J.Bangs Salon. Tabitha set up the appointments and really handled all that for me, which was a huge relief. The trial went much better than the other two. You can read about it here.

After the trial, I knew I liked my hair, but it wasn't just exactly right. Tabitha told me not to worry, that we could revise the day of. She was right! It was exactly how I wanted it! I did bring in a final picture to discuss the small changes. Julie was totally down with it.

Hi! Nervous much?

I just love my DIY hair toys.

So here's how the $ all shook out in the end. My first failed trial was free (whew!). My second failed trial was $100. Hm, bummer. My third trial was $130. So now, I've paid $230 to figure out how I want to look. That does seem excessive, yes?

I knew how much the day-of would be (sort of). I know Tabitha told me and I know my heart skipped a little beat when she did, but like any good bride on her third trial, I ignored it. I was happy with Julie and I wasn't going to think about hair and make-up for one second longer. I was planning on having my MOH's hair done too and I knew that would be added on top. I still didn't care.

I had initially planned for all sorts of beauty treatments: facial, massage, all that stuff! Sadly, I just ran out of time. Probably a lot better for my budget in the end. Check it out.

The Mani/Pedi was for both me and my MOH, which I knew I was going to do, but forgot to put in the budget. Oops. Same with including her hair in the mix. I knew I was going to pay for it, but just forgot to budget it in. Oops numero dos.

WEDDING TIP #5: If you have a small wedding party, don't forget to talk to them about day-of beauty way in advance and hold everyone to those decisions. You don't want last minute additions to blow your budget.

I totally didn't do this at all. My mom starting talking to me about having her hair done on the day-of, about a week before the wedding. I just about fainted in the car when she said this! Not good, because I was driving. I was nervous about fitting it in timing-wise and well as budget-wise. I know that she'd end up picking up the tab (or try to) and I didn't want that to happen either. I just didn't want to think about it at that point since the schedule had been made and all that. I assured her that her own skills and the timing of the pictures would be wonderful. On that fact I was absolutely right because my mom looked like a million bucks (no pictures of her yet without the tinted spectacles. Ugh.). Her dress was the most perfect color brown (she matched our color palette!) and she even found great shoes (a challenge for her)!

I never even really talked to my MOH about hair or make-up either. Like what we were going to do and that I was going to pay for it. I should have done that!

So yes. I went WAY over budget on the beauty. Like, 56% over budget. Ouch. But like I said, it was worth every penny for how I felt that day. If you think you might have an area that is going to go over budget - don't kid yourself. Pad the hell out it. If you come in under, sweet.

So, where are you (or did you) pad the budget? Did you need it all or did you save?

Jimmy Choo Loves H&M

2009-11-12T15:24:00.005-06:00

Source

FASHION ALERT!!!

Just so you know, Jimmy Choo has paired up with H&M. All you lucky duckies who have an H&M where you live (Nashville, not so much), you'd better get there early. FYI:

"The retailer is expecting a crowd of bargain-hunting shoppers and will introduce a system where the first 160 people in line receive a bracelet that allows them into the designated collaboration area for a limited time.

After two hours, the designated area will be opened up for all customers, however, every customer will have a limit of buying no more than one size in shoes or garments or on piece in accessories per product per customer."

If you go and buy, please send me a picture so I can drool in jealously. Happy Shopping!

The Bloomin' Truth - Flower Budget

2009-11-12T08:48:00.010-06:00

I'm not big on flowers. I knew this wasn't going to be a huge chunk of my money. Don't get me wrong, I love flowers. But they are so expensive. And they die.

On top of it, I used to work for FTD. I was the Product Development manager for their floral containers. I know a lot more about the inner workings of flower shops, florists and floral wholesalers than the average bride, in my opinion. I certainly know what I don't like:

Leather Leaf (hello, 1985)
Plumosus (it sheds little tiny green needles - like a mofo!)
Bear Grass (hello, 1997)
Baby's Breath (unless you are doing an all Gypsophilia thing like these:)

From The Martha, of course.

Found this on The Sweetest Occasion. Never knew about this blog. It's AWESOME!

I found this on Weddingbee (God, how I hate that site), but don't know the original source. If ya know it, lemme know!

I am not a big rose kind of girl. I like some weird flowers, most of them happen to be cheap. Lucky me! Now, I don't know if this was the smartest thing for me to do, but I only interviewed one florist. Yup. Just one. And I have no recollection as to how I found her. I think I was just hunting on-line, found a link to her on some seriously obscure wedding web-site and then found examples of her work on Flickr. I made an appointment, talked to her about what I wanted and what I knew about flowers. I was up front about flowers not being the bulk of my budget and that I wanted to trim the fat at every possible turn. She was totally down with it. Her name is Angela Sadler.

I think we went through about 6 or 7 quotes until we got to where I wanted it. The thing is, I had a hard time deciding what I actually wanted to do with the flowers at the reception. You can read about that here. I finally decided, bit the bullet and went for staggered bud vases scattered on the tables, mixed with small votives (provided for FREE by Mere Bulles!). I got my bud vases on sale at Crate and Barrel, Target and Ikea and had a total of 5 different shapes and styles. I bought WAY too many. The good thing was that I was able to return ALL the vases to Target (I did get a merchandise credit because I had purchased them long ago), and I sold a good chunk of the C&B bud vases to Angela. I still have the Ikea ones and some of the C&B ones that I will offer to sell here as soon as I can get my act together.

I met with Angela a few weeks before the wedding at the local wholesale florist place to review and pick out flowers as well as to show Angela the bud vases. Apparently, most brides don't do this. Angela made a comment about how involved I was! I'm not sure if this was a good thing or what, but I like to see what I'm buying. Anyway, you can see what we did here.

We kept the ceremony flowers super-simple since I knew it was going to be a short service. Why pay tons of money for something people are going to see for 30 minutes, tops? Owen Chapel has it's own unique charm, so I didn't want to over-do it. We had wreaths on the doors, a large wreath inside and two large alter arrangements.

How did I save? A few ways:

1. I saved $25 on the large wreath by purchasing the wreath myself. It was about $13 with tax and coupon use at JoAnn's, so it saved a little over $10. Hey - every little bit counts!
2. I saved $5 each ($10) on the door wreaths. I bought those on sale at Micheal's for $3 for both.
3. Going the bud vase route versus centerpieces saved me about $500 from the original quote! Angela had really affordable arrangements using BIG flowers like hydrangeas, football mums, gerbers and stock. We used really beautiful variegate pittsporum and snow berries as the filler, both affordable.
4. We had one large corsage for my mom and then smaller corsages for the other females in the group (no MOG for us, so no need).
5. We used really big, really inexpensive flowers in my bouquet: gerbers and football mums. The most expensive flower was a garden rose that we added, just to make it a little different than the MOH's bouquet.
6. I had my go-to girl Alecia take one of the alter arrangements as well as the door wreaths to Mere Bulles to add to the ambiance there.
7. I chose teeny tiny little button mums with fern curls for the boutonnieres. The guys really liked them and they were CHEAP!

Here's the budget breakdown.

The delivery and set up was "free" - I just took out the bud vases Angela bought in trade. The total here doesn't count the $60 I made back from the returned Target vases. Hopefully, I'll get a little more back if I sell the remaining Ikea and C&B vases. I was really hoping to come in under $1500 on this and I might in the end. Who knows.

There was one thing that I didn't like about all of the flowers and that was the handle on my bouquet. Again, I blame no one but myself for not being more specific. I had wanted the stems of my bouquet wrapped in the left over lace from my mom's mantilla. I mean WRAPPED - like how they do it with the ribbon. I also had a pearl pin I wanted put on. Well, she used just the teeny-tiniest piece of lace, I think to preserve the lace usage, but that's not what I wanted. She could have used it all! At any rate, the lace shifted around as did the pin and looked a little tattered at the end. I assumed that the bouquet stems would be wrapped all the way down to their ends. That wasn't the case. I was afraid that the stems would touch my dress and leave a mark during photographs!

Wedding Tip #3: Be as specific as you can. Assume nothing. If you don't ever ask for it, you can't be sure of what you are going to get. If a vendor gets snippy because you're asking too many questions or giving lots of direction, let them or move on. You have a right to know exactly what you are paying for.

I really enjoyed working with my florist. She was happy to give me references, even one who had a wedding at Owen Chapel before! I contacted everyone and they sang Angela's praises and were straight up about her short-comings, the only one being that she wasn't one to reply immediately to emails. Knowing this bit of information saved me a lot of worry. Since I knew she would eventually reply, I could contact her in advance of needed info and wait out the response. She knew if I called, I needed her and she would call back in a jiffy. She was a great vendor to work with. I liked her personally and kinda wanted to get to know her more and just hang out. I think because I was around her age, she got me. That's how it all ended up though - we hired the vendors who understood The Candyman and I as people and treated us that way. That makes it all good.

The flowers were simple and beautiful. Mixed with the candlelight at Mere Bulles - they were STUNNING! The good thing about using the bud vases was that we were able to add them to different areas in the venue without a bunch of extra arrangement costs. We had some added to the fireplace mantel, the place card table and the cake table.

Gorgeous!

"I Wish" Wednesday

2009-11-11T08:48:00.003-06:00

Wishing The Candyman HAPPY MONTH-A-VERSARY!

Here's to a bazillion more months, just like this last one.
(OK, well maybe not including last week, so let's not count that one. I call DO OVER!)

WEDDING TIP #3 - Just cuz you get married, doesn't mean all the same relationship crap that's hard work goes away. It means you get to work harder at it.

Budget ReCap -o- Rama: The Reception Venue

2009-11-10T10:33:00.001-06:00

You guys know that I was totally in love with our reception venue, Mere Bulles from the moment we stepped inside. The brown walls and ivory crown molding are accented by amazing artwork all over what was once the grand manor house of Maryland Farms (horse breeding country, back in the day). Right when you walk in, there's a killer spiral staircase with a gorgeous chandelier. The main dining room has a gorgeous old mantle and fireplace. There are built in bookshelves all over the house and it's just so damn inviting.

This feeling was extended to us by the fabulousness of one Carlin McQuiddy, their kick-ass events coordinator. I mean, she fed us their famous Charleston She-Crab Bisque the second we came in for our appointment. I mean, damn. She'd never even met The Candyman and she knew the way to his heart - straight through his stomach!

I have nothing but good things to say about Carlin and the fine people over at Mere Bulles. They took care of us. The treated us with respect and were attentive and responsive to every single thing we requested. We made one mistake though. Ooooops. Here it is:

WEDDING TIP #2: It's possible to get too distracted by the details. Don't forget to double check your budget. You might be really far UNDER.

Yes, UNDER. Here's what happened. Again, I can only really blame only myself for this. Carlin said she should take a little of the blame, so I'll give her some too. If you have a band or DJ at Mere Bulles, you have to do a whole house buy out because it's a house and you can hear the music throughout. At our first meeting when Carlin told us the price of a whole house buy out, I put my spoon down (remember, she was feeding us) and was about to bolt. She quickly informed us that a whole house buy out on a Sunday was HALF THE PRICE of a Friday or Saturday. I picked my spoon back up and said, "Carlin, please tell me more." The Candyman was oblivious to this. There was food.

You can also bring your own wine into Mere Bulles even though you have to pay a cork fee. I knew I could get budget savvy with the booze so opted for this as well.

Here's where I fucked it all up:

See, I had this AMAZING spreadsheet, y'all. Seriously. Formulas and links and all that crap. I love Excel spreadsheets. Like, love them. My dad is the Master of Things Excel and I call him all the time for advanced workshops via the phone. Anyway, I had this kick-ass spreadsheet that linked the booze tally page to the Mere Bulles tally page, that all linked up to the total page. Sweet, right? Right.

One day at work, I found this other formula and format that I thought was uber-bitchin' so I did that during my lunch hour. I sent the spreadsheet home to myself and did a little copy and paste into the Master of All Mack-Daddy Spreadsheets. Yeah. When I put the new format into one of the worksheets, I erased the link that went from the booze tally to the Mere Bulles tally and NEVER fucking noticed. NEVER.

As the RSVPs came in, I updated both worksheets and the totals went down on their SEPARATE pages. However, I didn't really look at those pages individually because I had already set up all the functions, so all I had to do was update the number of people. The overall total was going down but not by NEARLY enough. And again, I NEVER fucking noticed. Yes, there are a lot of "fucks" in this particular blog. You'd drop the F-bomb a lot too if you were $1000 UNDER the house buy-out.

Here's what this means. I started out with a total of 88 people and 21 kids invited to the wedding. I allotted total food and alcohol for that many people, erring on the high side for booze. As the numbers went down, the food and liquor pages went down, as did the total, but it was only pulling from the food tally. I basically had budgeted that 66 adults would drink 200 beers and six cases of wine. Yeah, sure. Maybe if those 66 adults were 21 years old at a freakin' South Padre Spring Break wet t-shirt contest. WTF?

I want to know when exactly I got so stupid. Was it the diamond on my finger? Was I constantly distracted by the shiny things? Or just constantly distracted? Oh, who knows. So here's what happened....

I come cruising into Mere Bulles (gushing, mind you because everything looked so damn pretty), the DJ is announcing us and I see people standing around with cocktails. Not cocktails in the generic, I'm-offering-beer-and-wine, but like scotch on the rocks and martinis. Lots of them. Um, what? I can't see THIS many people ponying up for cocktails when there's FREE beer and wine. I desperately make eye contact with Tabitha and she pulls me directly over and starts talking. Fast.

Tabitha: Don't freak. You're under budget. The manager opened the bar.

Me: WHAT?!?

Tabitha: Dude, you're UNDER budget. The manager ran the numbers and he says that every person in this room can have 6 drinks and you will still be UNDER budget. He opened the bar.

Me: WHAT?!? No. That can't be right. I ran the numbers too (and I did, just not the way I thought I had)! No. No. No.

Tabitha: Yes. I swear it's OK.

In my head: Do NOT let this freak you out. Do NOT let this freak you out. Trust the manager. Trust Tabitha. Let it go.

Me: OK, fine. But I swear, if we go over budget because the bar is open.....

Tabitha: You won't.

Me: OK. I need a drink.

And guess what? We were still WAY under budget. I could have served prime rib. I didn't have to buy all my wine and worry about having good wine and not going over budget. I didn't have to mess with all of that.

The thing is, I am so okay with everything. People enjoyed the food. People enjoyed the drinks. Everyone had what they wanted and that was perfect. I still don't care about prime rib because I think it's disgusting. Our wine was yummy. And I could return the unopened portion, which off-set the $1000 under budget by $300+.

And here's the BEST part. Mere Bulles did not have to open the bar. I had a signed contract that stated wine, which would be provided by me and beer, provided by them. They, by all legal accounts, did NOT have to open the bar. And they did. Because they are cool. Because they are fair and because they are a classy establishment who cares about their clients. Period. They were going to get paid regardless of what they served and they went above what was legally and contractually required. How often do you hear about THAT in the WIC (Wedding Industry Complex)?

On top of it, Carlin sent us some gift certificates that we can use at Mere Bulles. Again, she didn't have to do that. It was a super-nice perk.

Here's some other fabulous things about Mere Bulles:

1. The staff was top-notch. People commented frequently to me that the service was great.
2. The food was top notch. I heard "best wedding food" several times.
3. The staff participated in an impromptu group dance during the reception. Fun!
4. The staff loaded all the presents for me into my parent's car.
5. The staff had all of our chargers and bud vases cleaned and cleared and packed up and ready for us to pick up the next day.
6. Carlin's immediate responses to any and all of my inquiries.
7. They were concerned that my cake plates were a little wobbly. The cut all the cakes so people could just pick up a piece and enjoy! Nice. No stupid cake cutting fee (clearly the dumbest up-charge in the world).

Thanks to everyone at Mere Bulles for a wonderful reception! Regardless of where I came in, it was the most perfect evening ever and worth every penny, spent or not!

I'm sure there will be more pictures to come. I pulled these of Mere Bulles from their website gallery.

Fall 2010 - Already?

2009-11-09T13:58:00.002-06:00

I mean, damn. Already? Like Christmas has already hit retail and it's a nano-second after Halloween. I'm working on June 2010 (like, we are so behind schedule) and fashion has just cranked out Fall 2010. Nice. I was pondering and perusing the runway fashions and have decided to share my favorites. In no particular order.

Yummy Zac Posen! This makes me wish I'd gotten married in January, but only for like a second.

Angel Sanchez. Let's take the giant flowers out of our hair and put them on the dress. Much better.

This is from the BCBG Maz Azaria Cruise Collection, but I think it's a beach wedding gown - for sure!

Oh, hello....and a gorgeous farewell on the backside of this stunning Christos gown.

I am dying over the gobs and gobs of pearls. A million times yes. Thank you, Douglas Hannant.

This is the one aspect that I wished I'd had - a little something peeking out. Gorgeousness by Farah Angsana.

Lace by Jim Hjelm.

Lovely, lovely layers by Junko Yoshioka.

This totally reminds me of the amazing St. Pucchi gown I tried on. Alas, this little number is all Monique. You know, Ms. Lhuillier.

The latest from Vera Wang. She just nails it every damn time.

Who is your favorite designer? Me? I just la-la-love St. Pucchi. He's got this weird sort of Thierry Mugler sort of vibe so him.Not that I would wear any of his dresses, I just really appreciate the artistry behind them. I did try this one on and was in heaven until I looked at the price tag.

Source

And just so you know, I'm compiling some budget stuff to go over for the venue, so hold onto your wallets, I'll be back to the budgets ASAP!

100 and Shout Out. Yo.

2009-11-09T08:48:00.001-06:00

Source

Well, now. Lookie here. The Thirty-Something Bride has 100 official followers. HOW TOTALLY EFFING COOL IS THAT? You people rock, you really do. I'm still not quite sure how all this happened. This blog, I mean. It just sort of did. Happen, that is. One day, I'm reading all these wedding "how to" blogs and I'm like, "You know, I should write about what I'm doing, just so I can have something to look back on. Or maybe someone will read it and learn from the plethora of errors I plan to make." I really don't know what I was thinking. Then again, I guess I never really do. However, what I do know is this: you people rock. I have met so many wonderful people through this silly little blog who have become real-life, face-to-face friends. What a treat.

Someone who I've been following (ok, quite pathetically stalking, is more like it) is Ashley's Bride Guide. Ashey's is the Nashville go-to for resources, vendor highlights and recaps of other local brides. Today, she posted the first installment of our wedding recaps. She makes me feel so famous! FAMOUS, I tell you! Thanks Ashley, for all the support! You're the bomb-diggity-bomb. It's true. Check her out her blog too!

So thanks to everyone for following and reading and commenting. Keep it coming and I will too!

Budget Breakdown - Invitations

2009-11-05T21:56:00.010-06:00

So little did I know about paper. Oh, so little. Card stock weight, letterpress, metallic versus matte. Good God, what a cacophony of primal fear it can bestow upon the innocent of wedding planning brides. Oh, I fell in love with some invitations. Oh, the gorgeousness of them. Stunning. Works of art. For $4000. For 100 invitations and envelopes. That didn't even COUNT the RSVP card. It really stressed me out because when you look at all this crap (and it's JUST paper, people) on-line and in stores, there's this push that you must have the most fabulous of all because it tells your guests what kind of wedding you're going to have. Really? Really? No it doesn't, you do. Who you and your groom are tells everyone they need to know. And if you can't do that then why are you inviting then to your wedding?

Now, I'm lucky that I didn't have to invite my Dad's boss's cousin. Perhaps if you're having that kind of wedding, the invitation means more. For us though, it just wasn't like that. I also thought through all the wedding invites I've ever gotten in my life. I remember one in particular because it was purple. All of them ended up in the trash, even the purple one. I have no idea if they were letterpress or what they even looked like. NO ONE DOES. Not really, not in the end. In my opinion, if you need to save someplace, do it here. It's paper, people.

About the time I was in the invitation process, I found Jessica, The Budget Savvy Bride. She is one talented lady and I almost used her to do my invites. I did a lot of research and I realized that I could DIY my own invites easy enough, just as she did. For me, time was a big issue, so I went the Michael's route and gave some pre-fab invites my own twist. In fact, I was able to get nearly every single bit of paper product from Michael's and it all coordinated. I used lots of coupons and got creative.

Here's my original breakdown and the final numbers. When I filled in my budget, I really didn't have a great idea of what things cost. I also forgot to add in the postage for RSVP cards, which is why that number is double the budget! Now, I have to admit that I am missing a few things on this template because I had a whole different page that I did some budgeting on that linked over. Below is what I paid for all the paper for my invitations, table numbers, glue dots, programs, ribbon, etc. For just the invites, they were $2.13 a piece including postage. Without postage, they were $1.26 each. Not too shabby, right?

What was nice about all of this is that I got to customize everything I did with my own font and wording that I carried throughout the wedding - from menus to table cards to place cards to programs. I'll betcha people who don't read this blog had no idea I got all that stuff at Michael's or that I did it all myself.

If you click on the above mosaic montage of mega-hot detail shots that my oh-so-fabulous photographer took (like you don't know JCP already), you can see all the printing I did myself on my little $150 HP printer. And you know what? I am not a graphic artist. I am not an artist. I am a product developer, but I don't know how to work in Photoshop. I introduced myself to Publisher for my OOT letters. I do know how to work in ACDSee, but that's it. You just have to know what you want and how to go about ripping it off and making it your own. ;) The web has a crap-load of free templates and clip art and patterns and all sort of stuff you can manipulate to make your own. It's awesome. The resources are there, it just takes a little time to find it.

Try not to get caught up in WIC (Wedding Industry Complex, if you're not down with the lingo yet) on this one. Get caught up in your creativity.

Tell me, are you stressing over invites? How did you get creative? How did you save $$$?

The Budget Breakdown - Attire

2009-11-05T09:02:00.009-06:00

Decisions, decisions. You people totally want me to show you the money. And I will - on some things, but not everything. That's what I've decided. If you're really looking for budget breakdowns and help in doing it, convo me privately and I'll give you the lowdown. I created a very detailed spreadsheet with links and formulas and equations - oh my!

So let's get started, shall we? Let's talk about the dress, OK? It's really the best part of any wedding planning process, right? Y'all know that finding my dress was definitely a pain in the ass. I talk about it here. And here. And here. And even here. The original budget for my dress was $800. Uh huh. That's right.

God, I love JCP.

Early on in the game, my Mom gave me a little monetary sumpin'-sumpin' to supplement the dress fund (thank you, Mom!). I basically just took that money and added it on top of my budget because I quickly realized that $800 wasn't going to cut it. Keeping that in mind, I only went $142.50 over budget on the dress. See how I rationalized that? Instead of being $642.50 over budget, my creative math skills keep it all good. Right? Right?

Here's my final break down of all things fashion related.

The budget column is where I really wanted to be. I was a little over on few things but way under on others. Since I made my own veil, all I had to purchase was the tulle (which is super cheap) and the comb. I already had the lace and thread and all that. I went a little over on the lingerie only because I counted in the multiple pairs of panties I bought at VS during tax-free weekend that I wrote about here. If I take out the cost of all the stuff I bought and just what I wore on the day of The Big Show, then that price would go down. However, I left it all in 'cuz it was money spent.

I don't believe in wearing stockings unless they are cotton tights in the dead of winter, so I knew I wouldn't need any budget there. We didn't do a garter or bouquet toss so I didn't need any cash allotted there either.

The thing that killed my budget was the gown preservation thing. I took it to the best place in town for gown preservation, Oakwood Cleaners. Their reputation is really good and I was just so nervous to take it anywhere else. I didn't call ahead of time. I didn't ask for the price. I just took my dress and veil there. I dropped it off. I walked out and then was like, "Hey, I wonder how much that's gonna cost." I walked back in and asked. The very nice lady went into the system and pulled up some pricing and then her computer locked up. Seriously, I saw it happen. I was running errands, getting ready for the honeymoon and didn't want to wait, so I just asked around how much it would be. She said around two-something for just the dress. I'm thinking it was going to be around $250 total and I was OK with that and went bouncing out of the store. They called me to tell me the dress was ready and informed me that the total was $359 and I almost had a coronary. STARTING prices on any wedding dress is $279. "Two-something" was actually closer to three. I have no one to blame but myself for not inquiring into specifics. I was still floating about 3 feet above the ground, so didn't quite have my senses about me.

WEDDING TIP #1 - Don't even think about thinking about things that are of any importance whatsoever until a week or so after the wedding. You're head is still up your ass.

There are lots of wedding budget calculators out there. I've seen some that say "attire" should be 5% of your budget. I've seen others that say 12% and others that say 18%. The difference between 5% and 12% and 18% is HUGE. Let's say you're planning a $20K wedding. You're dress can be $1000 or $1666 or $3600 based on those "average" percentages. That's the difference between trotting on down to your local David's Bridal versus Monique freakin' Lhuillier. Big dif. Huge.

What you've got to do is look at your budget break down areas and decide what is most important to you (oh yeah, and the groom). Is it the dress? Or is the food? Must you have Lily of the Valley dripping from every pew, chair, centerpiece and bouquet for your December wedding? Then you need to be putting all your cash into flowers child, because that's going to be one costly decision.

In the end, I was happy. I felt like I looked like a million bucks. You guys saw my dad's face when he saw me, clearly I shocked the hell out of him. The Candyman said he's never seen me look so beautiful. I loved my dress. It was totally comfortable (although I did have some boob issues, more on that later) and I seriously felt stunning. It was worth every damn penny. All 213,201 of them!

What area are you dumping all your cash into?

"I Wish" Wednesday

2009-11-04T08:14:00.006-06:00

I so wish that I could stop obsessing about the things that went wrong at the wedding. Really, only two things sucked and everything else was over-the-top fabulousity. I think I’m just going to vent those things now and be done with it.

First, y’all know that the bartender thing at Aloft Hotel was a bust. I have heard back from them. They sent me a Starwood Hotel Preferred Guest card with 20,000 points on it. The card they set up for me was a new card. If they had thought to check, they would know that I’m already a Starwood Preferred Guest and I already have a card. So now, I have to go through the process of changing the card numbers over to ONE card and transferring the points, blah, blah, blah. More of a pain in the ass than it’s even worth. Aloft Hotel – YOU FAIL.

Source

The other thing that I didn’t like was the DJ. At all. I met her at one of the bridal shows and thought that having a female DJ would be cool and different and un-cheesy. I left the music management up to The Candyman. He met with her, discussed our music tastes and he was happy with the meeting so we hired her.

Months before the wedding I sent her the Martha Stewart list of songs that I blogged about here. She emailed me saying that adding the songs we liked wouldn’t be an issue and she thought the songs were cool. A few weeks before the wedding, we sent her our full list of songs we wanted. It was very specific. This is what she received from us:

For the Atmosphere

Anything by Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, Ray Charles, The Drifters (Think Myrtle Beach Shag/Beach Music Festival)

Classic Country (Nothing recorded after 1980)

Bluegrass

Anything by Mahalia Jackson

Early Slow Dances

Givin’ Him Something He Can Feel/ Aretha Franklin

You Send Me/ Sam Cooke

At Last/ Etta James

Jet Lag/ Joss Stone

Picking up the Pace

Do You Love Me/ The Contours

Hallellujah, I Love Her So/ Ray Charles

Fell in Love with a Boy/ Joss Stone

Rasberry Beret/ Prince

Higher and Higher/ Jackie Wilson

Forver/Chris Brown

Getting the Way Down and Dirty

Rock Your Body/ Justin Timberlake

Goin’ Down/ Freddie King

Nothin’ but a G Thang/ Dr. Dre

Gett Off/ Prince

Sexy Back/ Justin Timberlake

Blame it on the Boogie/Jackson 5

Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)/ Beyonce

Candyman/ Christina Aguilera

Mellowing Out

Destiny/ Zero 7

Every Morning/ Keb Mo’

Pretty specific, right? We had also sent her a time line of the evening and what kind of music we wanted during dinner and the cocktail hour. Well, when we walked into Mere Bulles, the first thing I noticed was the blaring music. I think the first thing I told Tabitha (who was standing right at my elbow – God love her) was (in somewhat of a bridezilla manner that I must now apologize for), “The music is WAY too loud and what the hell is she playing? Light cocktail/dinner music now and have her turn it down!” Within nano-seconds the music was lowered and more appropriate. But I swear, I thought I was in a freakin’ dance club when I first walked in. Not a good start.

And as an aside, I have to say that whenever I needed Tabitha, I looked up and there she was. She was always at the ready and that was so comforting. The fact that the music changed instantly (I swear, it was like a light switch it happened so fast), I knew I could relax and that she would handle everything. I knew that at the church too, but Mere Bulles is where it set in. I think I was too busy with the whole “getting married” thing at the church to worry.

I barely noticed the music during dinner, as it did remain low and unobtrusive. However, I don’t remember hearing anything that we requested. I’m not going to bitch too much about that though because she may have played it and I didn’t notice or hear it.

After we cut the cake, we had out first dance and father/daughter dance, which were fine. The music that she started playing after that was questionable. She really could not and did not read the crowd. We had told her that our guests were a tad older. I mean, we’re in our thirties, our parents are in their fifties and sixties as our many of our older family members. All of our friends are in their thirties and up, for the most part. I have to think hard about who was under thirty! So, playing all sorts of club music straight out of the gate? Not smart. I mean, some of the songs I liked and requested, it was just her timing sucked. Bad. Out of the entire list above, I remember hearing three songs. Three. We really wanted our guests to dance and have fun, but that really didn’t happen. Both of our families are from the South. They all dig beach/shag music and most people enjoy dancing to that style of music. I can’t remember hearing one song that fell into that genre, not one. On top of all that, other than the scheduled dances with The Candyman and my dad, I don’t think she played one slow song. Um, what? Seriously, I danced one kinda slow song with my brother and that was it.

After the wedding, I polled some good friends and they all agreed that the DJ sucked.

While I don’t think it ruined anything, I don’t think it was all that it could have been. I think people still had fun, but it really kind of pissed me off that after all the information we shared with the DJ, she just played really standard, blasé wedding music – which is what we really did not want. I guess this is a perfect example of how the best laid plans can go awry and that there are just some things you have to let go, deal with and make the best of. I think I did that during the wedding. It’s just now that I’m obsessing over it, which is so incredibly stupid. Let me repeat. So. Incredibly. Stupid.

So my wish for Wednesday is layered:

Stop obsessing over the damn DJ.

Find the positive in the fact that you can share this info with fellow brides – so that they too will know that things won’t be perfect, but that it will not affect how you feel unless you let it.

Make sure you’ve got a kick-ass day-of planner.

The Flower Girl and The Budget

2009-11-03T09:50:00.000-06:00

I know, such a great combination, right? Well, I figured I'd soften the blow of budget discussions with these way cute pics of The Roo - nickname of the most fabulous Flower Girl ever. Seriously.

Cute as all hell, right? I hear her walk down the aisle was quite focused on her task at hand. I will hold off on the story until I see if JCP was able to capture it.

I took these photos while I was waiting to walk down the aisle. I swear, that was the longest thirty minutes of my life. The Roo was really good though. You knew she was bored as hell with all the waiting and waiting. There was no fussing or whining or anything.

So, I am ready to share all things budget related. I'm not quite sure how to go about it though. I feel a little oogy about sharing the final totals on everything. Is it in poor taste to bring up the exact total of our wedding? I have two major numbers - the cost of everything and the cost of everything without the rings and honeymoon. I did that because the rings and the honeymoon were two areas where we had already started saving for prior to getting engaged. The honeymoon savings was originally my Bikram yoga fund. I sacrificed my yoga practice for a honeymoon! I'm going to get back into practicing as soon as possible because I have totally missed it!

The Candyman and I had started saving for our rings around September or October - right around the time when he and I started shacking up permanently. We had about half of what we paid saved up. We were super-duper-uber blessed that we were given a family heirloom diamond and only had to pay for the setting, my band and his band. His band was actually more expensive than most men's bands. However, we felt it wasn't a place to skimp since he'd be wearing it forever-ever. If we'd had to buy our own diamond, we'd still be engaged instead of married. For reals.

One thing The Candyman and I had decided on from the very start is that we would not, could not, staunchly REFUSED to go into any sort of debt for this wedding. It simply was not an option. The other rule we had was that we would absolutely NOT touch my savings. I've got the required 6 months salary saved if I should ever lose my job and it's something I worked really hard to get to. I wasn't going to blow it all on stuffed mushrooms (regardless of how super-yum they were) and tulle. No sir.

So that being said, I'm still trying to figure out how to share the budget breakdown. I can do it by percentage to total. I can talk about where I was over and where I was under. I can give SOME cash totals, or all cash totals (must check with The Candyman though to see if he's down with that, yo). I'm going to add a poll to the top of the blog. Vote for what you want to see.

God, I love polls. Totally fun because the are anonymous and all those people who don't like to leave comments can still participate with a clicky-clicky. Yes, you know who you are.

You can vote for more than one option. Go vote.

Go Gucci or Go Home

2009-11-02T15:27:00.005-06:00

So I will be selling several things from the wedding: bud vases, chargers, my unworn J.Crew flip-flops - you know. Stuff. If ya want it before I post it - send me email love ASAP. But, before I do that, I want to sell something else. I received a unique wedding present some time ago that I'm really not loving. It was quite the generous gift, a gift I was not able to decline in a way that was either proper, polite and/or socially accepted. The gift was a Gucci bag. I received the first bag in Hong Kong and was totally not into it. I went to the Gucci store in Hong Kong and exchanged it for what I thought I might like that was in the same price range. Since we were on massive financial lock-down, it wasn't like I could upgrade, even though I TOTALLY wanted to.

Here's the bag I now own.
Yes, it's real. I have all the information: tags, receipts, leather embossed style numbers, imprinted dust bag, etc. I don't do fake (anymore).

The value of this bag is $980.65 (I can prove this).

It hasn't been used once. Not once. It's just not me.

Here are the details:

Gucci medium drawstring handbag made of 'interlocking icon' Beige/Ebony GG fabric. Brown leather trim, handle and tassels with brass hardware. Interlocking G ornament on single shoulder strap. Adjustable to 12.5, 15 or 17.5 cm drop. Drawstring leather tassel closure with inside zip, mobile phone and PDA pockets. 48 x 4 x 40 cm.

I'm looking for $675, but will entertain all offers.

You know where to find me.

(I can just feel MissKriss and Chic n Cheap, and perhaps even Miss SE, wondering why in God's name I'm bailing on the bag! It's just not me, ladies!)

Dear Venetian Nail Spa,

2009-11-01T16:05:00.005-06:00

It has come to my attention that you suck. Yes, you. Voted Nashville's number one nail spa? Whatever. You suck. Here is why you suck:

1. I was there last the day before my wedding. I told you I was getting married. Yet, you proceeded to give me probably the worst nail tech and worst pedicure ever. She cut my nails too short. That made the polish hard to put on and she got it all over my skin. I made her re-do it, which she did not like. Too fucking bad, bitch. I'm getting married.

2. Her version of a foot massage (part of the Venetian pedicure/manicure for $47) was to move her hands up and down my leg aimlessly while she chatted in Vietnamese to the tech sitting next to her. THAT tech was going to town on her massage. I was more than jealous.

3. I went back today for the same mani/pedi. I wasn't feeling myself and wanted to indulge and relax. The pedicure wasn't too bad until he put the polish on. Normally, I wear really light colors. I went dark in honor of Fall. My nails were filed crooked (which is incredibly obvious with the dark color) and there is blood red polish on my skin.

4. They stuck me at a manicure table with my hands in those heated oven mitt things for 20 minutes! Four (yes FOUR) different techs came by and said, "I'll be right with you." Yeah, OK.

5. The tech who did my hands got irritated when I gave her my personal nail file to use (which I have been doing for the last 2 years). I have a glass one and it works better on my nails. It doesn't tear them up like the ones they use. And she got irritated with me?

6. She got polish on my skin too and didn't even try to get it off. My cuticles look like a hack-saw attacked them. How did I leave with more hang nails than when I walked in?

7. I barely gave her a 15% tip. WHY? Because it sucked.

I have given this place so many chances and they just treat you like crap. You try to complain and they just yell at you, heave huge sighs and acquiesce begrudgingly. I've never complained myself, but I've seen many exchanges there over the course of the 3 years I've been going there. I never wanted to deal with it, especially today.

I am a great tipper - upwards of 30% because I've been in the service industry and know that living off tips is hard damn work. I'm a regular there, but they act like they don't know me. God forbid Nicole Kidman walks in for the first time and they act like she's their new fucking best friend. But, no more. I am done. The whole mani/pedi thing is supposed to be a treat for me, an escape where I can happily read Us Magazine and find out exactly how fat K-Fed has become (my GOD, the boy is HUGE!).

I refuse to be treated like cattle - to be ushered in and out - only to find I've been prodded and branded with a new plastic tag as an earring. Screw that.

With Regards,
The Thirty-Something Bride

P.S. Any local folks know a good place for relaxing, indulgent mani/pedi's for UNDER $50?

BOO!

2009-10-31T06:51:00.003-05:00

Happy Halloween
from
The Undead!

Be safe out there tonight people. Don't drink and drive! Watch out for little kids!

PICTURES! PICTURES! PICTURES!!!!!

2009-10-30T13:19:00.002-05:00

THE FIRST ROUND OF PICTURES IS UP!
THE FIRST ROUND OF PICTURES IS UP!

Go now. Go fast. Go see Part I of The Thirty-Something Bride and The Candyman.
Go here. Go now.

I am so excited, I might pee myself.

RMD (Rehearsal Meltdown)? Almost!

2009-10-30T11:50:00.003-05:00

At The Rehearsal Gathering with The Candyman!

So the day before the wedding was so crazy, but all in a good way. First on the list was picking up the MOH and then The Dress. Then we stopped by J. Bangs Salon to get my hair blown out. It needed a good day of dirt in it for it to stay up the next day. Then the MOH and I had a little down time at Venetian Nail Spa. It's my go-to place for mani-pedi's, for sure. Now I've never had a bad experience there, but I swear I got the worst lady there on the day before my wedding. She had to redo my toes as there was polish all over my skin. Um, hello? Getting married. With super cute shoes. The toes need to look good, lady. I was slightly annoyed, but not too much. It was just nice to hang with the MOH and have hot water on my feet. That feels gooooood.

I had to run the MOH back to the hotel and then go home and change for the rehearsal, dinner and gathering. I hadn't seen or talked to The Candyman ALL DAY and I was really missing him for some reason. I called him, hoping he'd be at home when I got there. He answered saying, "You're driving home the back way, aren't you?" Me, "Um, yeah. How did you know?" He said, "I just passed you. I'm going to pick up my brothers." Nooooooooooooo! I was so sad he wasn't going to be at the house!

I got there, knew I was running about 10 minutes late and had to throw myself into the ensemble. You know how when you're in a hurry and nothing is working? Yeah, it was one of those moments. I had forgotten to put these petal things in my shoes and I couldn't get into the damn package. It was like Superman-plastic or something. I ripped it open with my brute strength and one of the petal things goes flying across the room and DISAPPEARS! So I'm crawling around on the floor on my hands and knees in a pair of Spanx and nothing else, looking for this damn shoe insert thing. Yeah. Go ahead. Just try and erase that visual. Just try.

So I get all dressed, my make up is on and I want to put my hair back some, just to keep it out of my face. I start to put it back and my hands are totally shaking. My hair is also super slippery, and I just can't keep a hold of it. Try and try as I might, I can't get my hair to do an effing thing. I start to get super flustered and am about to cry. I am shaking so bad and my nerves were just SHOT. I decided to screw the hair and wear it down. The thing is, when my hair is straight and down, I can't ever stop touching it. It always feels so good, that I'm just constantly pushing it around and playing with it. I didn't really want to be distracted by my hair at the rehearsal, but it was either that or a total WPM right before the rehearsal.

I got to the chapel and everyone was already there. Funny thing is, I had the key and no one could get in! Figures I'd be late to my own wedding rehearsal.

The Candyman, cutting up. Tabitha will have none of that.

The Candyman clutching on me!

The rehearsal went well, everyone knew what to do and we called it a wrap. We sent the families off to do their own thing and The Candyman and I headed to The Park Cafe for dinner. We gave each other our wedding presents, which I will reveal in a later post, because they are both totally post-worthy. We had a fabulous dinner, but in no time, the hour had come to head to the Rehearsal Gathering. We walked in to all of our friends and family, gathered in one spot!

My brother and his wife.

My Mom and DC Michele.

So, here's the crappy part. I had scheduled this little shindig at Aloft Hotel months ago. I also had a block of rooms there. Sadly, not a lot of people stayed there. I have no idea why, it's just how it all shook out. A few days before, I had received an email from Aloft sales team asking for a final number so that they could properly staff the bar. I told them between 40-60 people. Or maybe I told them between 40-50 people. An any rate, an average of 50 people. I'm thinking maybe 60 or so showed up, counting local pals who weren't invited to the wedding.

They only had ONE bartender. ONE. There were people at one end of the bar who had to wait an HOUR for a damn drink. I was furious. I approached the lady at the counter to complain. She told me that the manager was trying to get someone in . Still, 20 minutes later - nothing. I went back again and complained. She said the manager was working on it. This woman ended up behind the bar in order to help, but she wasn't of age and couldn't serve. Big help that was.

The thing is, the ONE bartender sucked. Hard. I only had one drink the entire night and that's only because someone got it for me, demanding a glass of wine for THE BRIDE.

I have been a bartender. I have been a waitress. I have been a retail manager. I know what being in the weeds is all about. This dude was so far under, there was no way he was going to get out. He also had no idea how to work a bar.

After I had approached the desk twice, a friend took over the task of "dealing" so that I could be with my guests. A second bartender never appeared. As a manager/server/bartender I was furious at the lack of service or acknowledgment at Aloft. I called them after the wedding and before we left for the honeymoon and spoke with the hotel manager.

While I got an OK apology, the guy actually said to me, "Well, for a party of 50, we normally wouldn't schedule more than one bartender." Um, what? You have 50 people, all coming in at once, who will all want cocktails at once and you don't even schedule a bar-back? I'm sorry, but that's the most fucking insane thing I've ever heard, especially when it was clear that bartender had no idea what he was doing. Even if that is their scheduling policy - at least lie to me about it. The manager lamely asked me if he could "do something" for me, but really what could he? Offer me a free hotel night? No thanks, I live here. The damage was done. I was irritated and most importantly, embarrassed that my guests were unable to properly enjoy themselves because of their poor planning.
After I got back from the honeymoon, I was stewing on it a little more and decided further action was needed. I wrote a letter to their corporate office. I've received an email saying that it was received and that I would have resolution within 5 days. We're on day two. I'll keep you updated.
The sad thing is, people there wanted to PARTY. I mean, folks wanted to get their drink on and no one could get a freakin' cocktail! I wonder how much money they lost that night.

Here's one my friend's kids who pooped out early that night. I couldn't resist the shot. And this is my sentiment towards Aloft Hotel right now. Boo on them.

I did pull her little dress down afterward. No girl wants her panties showing, regardless of how old she is!

Humongous Bows

2009-10-29T14:09:00.005-05:00

Just tell me now so I can go open my own Etsy shop toute de suite. Is the giant flower hair toy craze over yet? Or does it need to get even bigger? Like this:

Source

I mean, seriously. How big do the flowers really need to get?

Really? Really?
Source

So instead, I'm going to follow in the footsteps of Miss Melissa Sweet and start making my own giant head bows.

Since we all know how much I like tying bows, I'm sure this will be a rousing success.

The Great Cookie Bake

2009-10-27T21:19:00.006-05:00

So something I totally underestimated in time was baking all the cookies for our favors. I figured if we started at 9am or so, we'd be done around noon. Plenty of time to chill and hang out afterwards, right? Wrong. We didn't finish until like 2:30pm or so.

First of all, the guys were assembling to go get their tuxedos that morning. In our house. There were only three guys there (The Candyman, his Best Man and my Dad) but it was like there was a tornado of testosterone in the house. The Candyman and The Best Man were threatening each other to a wrestling match. Lots of loud and big smack-talking. Then my Dad made some sweeping, political statement (he refers to himself as a Federalist, The Candyman calls him a crazy, angry Republican) that got The Candyman all up in arms and when those two start a political "discussion" it goes on and on and on and on and on....so I stopped the whole thing by screaming, "EVERYONE NOT BAKING COOKIES, GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!" So they left. And it was almost 10am. Damn.

Now, I believe that these cookies are the best effing cookies ever. I have lots of people who have had them who feel the same way. They also fit my color scheme of chocolate brown, ivory and sandalwood. I'll share the recipe at the end (and no, it's not the Neiman Marcus cookie recipe). These cookies are high maintenance to make. There's a ton of prep work.

You have to grind the oatmeal into an oatmeal flour.

You have to beat these up with a hammer so that they are bite size pieces.

You have to mix all the goodies together to make just the right consistency.

You roll them into balls so that they come out the same size, then they have to cool (yeah, this is where I jacked up the timing. I really didn't think that through).

We had two stations going at once, each with a double recipe. That's a lot of freakin' cookie dough, people.

Here's the MOH chronicling the whole affair!

After the cookies cooled, my Mom slid one cookie into a bag and taped it shut. We were able to fit 3 cookies per box, but we did have to squish them down a bit. Since they were all still ever so slightly warm, this didn't hurt them a bit.

I put the cookie recipe on the top, then put the lid back on and slid the pre-tied ribbon back on. Let me say, this was the best thing I did: to pre-tie all those damn bows saved me oodles of time on this project. If you're DIYing a lot of things, try to think of as much stuff to do in advance to save time on projects that can only be done right before the wedding day.

The Amazing Cookie Recipe

2 cups butter, room temperature
4 cups flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 cups granulated sugar
2 cups brown sugar
5 cups blended oatmeal (measure oatmeal and blend in blender to a fine powder)
24 oz. chocolate chips
1 tsp. salt
1 8 oz. Hershey bar (grated)
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
2 tsp. vanilla

Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla; mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and baking soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey bar and nuts. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.

This is the "official recipe." However, I do not follow it. If you use all of the blended oatmeal, the cookies will be too dry. I generally leave out about half a cup, but I really just go on the taste of the cookie dough (What? A good cook tastes as she goes!). Here's the other important tip: mix the flour, salt, baking soda and baking powder together in a separate bowl and add that to the butter mixture first. Then slowly add in the oatmeal flour until it's the right consistency.

The Hershey Bar I use is dark chocolate. I've used Ghirardelli dark chocolate too. No difference. Milk chocolate bars mixed with the semi-sweet chips isn't as good - it's too sweet. I also don't grate it. I beat the bars with a hammer to make bigger chunks. Don't do this on your kitchen counter. I go outside and do it on the pavement with the wrapped bars in a plastic bag. I use walnuts for the nuts. Pecans are too sweet. Almonds are just gross. I've tried it, trust me. I also did pine nuts once. That was just weird - they were too oily. The only other variation that I think is slammin' is substituting half of the semi-sweet chocolate chips with peanut butter chips. The Candyman had a food-gasm when I made them this way. The best advice I can give is to make sure there is always more "stuff" in each rolled ball than dough. Consider the dough just an adhesive to keep all the chocolate and nuts together.

All of this took us a lot longer than we thought. If I had borrowed an extra cookie sheet, we could have finished a lot sooner as we could have had double batches baking at the same time. As we were finishing, the guys had come back from tuxedo-fitting and cheese-burger-eating and were smack-talking in the living room while the girls slaved away in the kitchen. Typical. :)

You know what? I know this recipe by heart. I do. I just went back and looked at the template I used for the recipe card I put in the favor boxes. It's not right. Eh? I'm wondering if the version I actually printed is the same one I just looked at. I know I halved the recipe for the cards, maybe I jacked it up by doing that? OK, how freakin' lame would that be if I gave all my guests the wrong recipe??? Perhaps the only upside to that is that no one will be making them as well as I do! Well, except for all you people I just gave the recipe to. :) Oh crap. Oh well. Enjoy!

P.S. If you received one of the favors and note that the recipe is wrong. Please don't tell me. Just use the correct recipe above. Denial is sweet, as are these cookies.

"I Wish" Wednesday!

2009-10-27T16:06:00.011-05:00

I WISH ALL MY PHOTOS WERE READY!!!!!

Ok, no pressure Jonathon, no pressure. Just really really really excited since I've had two semi-sneak peeks. I'm hoping JC and Sharon don't get upset with me, but I have GOT to post these other two photos I've seen. They don't have the snazzy JCP logo on them, but y'all know how much I j'adore (yes, I know that that reads "I I love") JCP and must give props where props are due. I'll get into that more in the recaps.

I honestly, I'm just over recapping the honeymoon. I mean, it was gorgeous and relaxing and fun and wonderful and all things that a honeymoon should be. I have no complaints whatsoever (hard to believe, no?). But seriously, do you guys care how much food we ate or how much cool Mexican art we bought? The only other really cool thing was the infinity pool. We spent a lot of time there. However, we did come face to face with a deadly scorpion hiding in our umbrella. See:

This little sucker can kill you dead.

The Candyman found him when he was moving the umbrella around to protect our lily-white skin from scorching to death. He put the umbrella down and calmly said, "There's a scorpion." I just about jumped out of my skin. The gardener guy was nearby, we pointed him out and a few seconds later, no more deadly scorpion. I'll tell you what though, every little itch or flutter in the corner of our eyes was a deadly scorpion waiting to kill us. Thank God this happened on our last day there. We would have freaked ourselves out otherwise.

I'll just leave you with a few of the best pictures (in my opinion) from the trip and be done with honeymoon stuff.

Sunset from la casa.

An evening swim with The Candyman. He's hot, no?

The happy couple!

So, without further ado, I'm going to share some contraband photos with you. Seriously, JCP, I'll take these down if you want to me too! I just LOVE them though!

Pre-wedding, outside Owen Chapel.

The ceremony. I loves me some Candyman!

Here are a few others taken by friends and family that I really think are great! Thanks for sharing everyone!

My brother, a greeter and program passer-outer. I hate to call him an usher since he didn't really usher anyone.

Moi. I have no idea when this was taken though.

Walkin' the aisle. Dear Dad, why do you have to have those weird glasses that turn into sunglasses? Oh, and why does Mom have them too? He looks so intense here. I have no idea why. He seemed pretty happy. Maybe he was just focusing on the task at hand. He's that kind of guy.

One of our cakes from the Cake Buffet. This one was the chocolate raspberry with cream cheese frosting. Sweet 16th Bakery knocked it out of the ball park. These cakes were slammin' good.

I'm totally psyched to get more wedding recaps up! I've got my budget figured out too and can give you the 411 on the breakdown. Is anyone interested in that?

Award Time!

2009-10-27T10:02:00.005-05:00

Many thanks to Confessions of An Obsessive Planner for the generous award! I have been remiss in reposting - well, for obvious reasons, right? I hope I am forgiven.

The rules are thus: Let us all in on 7 fun, interesting, maybe even embarrassing facts about yourself. Then pass the award on to 7 of your favorite bloggers.

Hm. Seven interesting facts? I'm not sure if I can come up with that many, but I'll give it a shot.

1. I'm pretty sure my all-time favorite movie is Grease. Come on! It's got action (the race at
Thunder Road), drama (Is Rizzo preggers? Will Frenchy drop back into high school?), romance (Oh, Danny!), comedy ("If you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.") and the young Lorenzo Lamas - before he became a total tool, both on and off-screen.

Hey, Zuko!
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2. My Favorite Best-Ever Movie Snack: Homemade popcorn with lots of butter, some salt and mixed with plain M&M's. I find this combo most enjoyable whilst watching the above movie with a kitty on one side of me and MOH/GEW on the other, sharing said concoction. The only way to make it better is if it were a double feature with When Harry Met Sally.

3. Something is up with my shoulder blades. I think they are double jointed. At any rate, I can clap behind my back (with my fingers pointing up, not down.) and almost touch my elbows together. It's pretty freaky.

4. I made a wedding gown for my MOH's friend a really long time ago. I only charged her $200.

5. I have to be careful when I chew gum. I totally get into it and chew the same piece for hours. So much so that the next day my jaws will ache. No bueno.

6. I have a dimple of cellulite on my left butt-cheek that has been there since I was like 12. It looks like someone just poked me in the butt-cheek with a pin and it stayed that way. I hate it. The Candyman thinks it's "cute." Whatever.

7. I willed a freckle on myself once. I had a friend in the 5th grade who had a teeny mole on the top of her foot. I thought it was cute. While I am COVERED in freckles, I never had any on my feet. I swear, I stared at my foot and hoped for a freckle there all of 5th grade. My friend moved away as did I and I forgot about the foot freckle until the following summer when one miraculously appeared on the top of my foot. To date, I have no other freckles on my feet, this one is still there and is in the same place as my friend's mole. I swear to GOD.

Now for the Shout Outs:
A Good (Enough) Woman
Sarah Elizabeth
Chic 'n Cheap
Design*Sponge
The Bowie Bride
Chuck and Susie
The Alternative Bride

I promise I'll have more updates from the wedding and the honeymoon VERY soon!

I keep replaying what I can remember of the ceremony and reception over and over in my head. I can't wait to see more pictures so I won't forget it all!

Honeymoon, Part Dos

2009-10-26T13:14:00.009-05:00

Before I recap more of the honeymoon, I'd like to mention a very odd sensation as of late. For the last 10 months, I have been carrying around a ton of crap in my purse. I already have a huge purse. In fact, it's more like briefcase-bag type of thing. I love it. It's Burberry. It was a gift - one that I would never have purchased for myself, but I do love it. The cool thing is that it's from Hong Kong and I don't think they even sell the same version here. It looks a lot like this one, but bigger with a shorter handle.

Source

Anyway, I didn't take it with me to Mexico, so have only had the need for it the past couple of days. And it's light. I mean really light. It no longer contains The Wedding Notes Book (different from The Wedding Notebook), swatches of color chips, bridal fair coupon books, my Bridal Bargains book, pieces and parts of DIY hair toys, even the random bottle of wine (for tasting purposes, of course). I've freaked out a few times after picking it up, thinking I've lost my wallet of keys or something. Nope. It's just lacking all the wedding planning paraphernalia I've been toting around this year. It's weird.

Kinda like when I say, "my husband" versus "my fiance" or "my boyfriend." Weird.

OK, so back to the honeymoon recaps. I mentioned we did nothing, right? Seriously. We did so much of nothing I was almost comatose. The Candyman said he'd never seen me so relaxed. It's true. He couldn't even get me to walk into town with him. It's like a 20 minute walk and I'm all, "Uh, honey. Please call us a taxi." Seriously, I was that lazy.

Here's what we did (I will exclude the standard honeymoon "activity" but rest assured, we got our honeymoon on!):
1. Woke up. Drank coffee and stared at the view of the bay.
2. Rallied after some lounging and walked the five minutes to Paty's for breakfast. Paty's is just a small joint right on the beach that serves simple food at simple prices. Their French Toast almost put me into a diabetic coma, it was so sweet. Wonderfully, decadently sweet!

The Candyman fending off my early morning paparazzi at Paty's.

3. Walked back to the condo and changed into bathing suits.
4. Walked downstairs to the infinity pool and spent hours swimming, chilling, sleeping, reading and sunning.

Here's just a so-so picture of the infinity pool. This is the view looking south. Better pics to come.

5. When we'd had enough sun (we both burn like freaks so were slathered in SPF 50) we'd go back up to the condo, get cleaned up and nap. We'd simply lay in bed and watch the afternoon sun shimmer off the ocean. In no time flat, we'd be snoring away to the sounds of crashing waves.
6. Once we'd finish with our naps, it was snack time. I whipped up some fresh guacamole one day. Or we'd just nibble on Mexican cheese and crackers. I, of course, drank plenty of wine in the afternoons!

Mmmm. Red wine in our al fresco living room. No better way to enjoy it!

Wow. I'm feeling really nappy right now. I'm getting tired just recalling the luxuriousness of doing nothing. Sadly, I'm on my lunch break and need to get back to work. So icky. More recaps coming up!!

Where Do I Start? Seriously. Honeymoon it is! Part Uno

2009-10-24T09:05:00.012-05:00

I'm so overwhelmed with where to start. Do I start with the ceremony? Do I start with the reception? All the stuff that happened prior? Since I don't have a lot of professional pics to show and tell, maybe I should start with the honeymoon and work backwards?

I know the MOH gave you a few tid-bits to start with. Is it enough to tide you over? I'll post a few other pics my wonderful friends and family took as well. So, I do think I'll start with the honeymoon. Here's a taste of the wedding via pictures from my friend, Scott. He's an amazing photographer and has been getting better and better with the purchase of his snazzy new camera and lenses.

Hugging my dad after the Father/Daughter dance.

Our sweet ride and fab driver, Reggie.

Here we go.

My first comment is this: do not leave for your honeymoon the day after your wedding if you can at all avoid it. We didn't leave until the Thursday after and it was AWESOME! We got to open gifts and put them away, make trips to the venue and chapel to pick up last minute things. I even got my dress and veil to the preservation place before we left. Getting all that done was just awesome.

So, for the honeymoon The Candyman and I decided to go to Zihuatanejo (zay-wa-ta-nay-ho), Mexico, pretty early on in the planning process. It's a place I've always wanted to go to and The Candyman is always up for tropical locales. Why did I want to go? Ever see the movie "When a Man Loves a Woman" with Andy Garcia and Meg Ryan? Watch that movie and you'll know why. There's a scene with them in an infinity pool and Playa La Ropa in the background. Ever since I saw that scene, I wanted to go there. So we went.

I found our amazing condo on HomeAway.com, which for me, is the only way to find a place to stay. I am not a hotel or resort person and this is now the third time I've used HomeAway and it's never failed to deliver. I highly recommend this site.

From the start Harriet, the owner of our condo (called Sueno del Mar), was a delight to work with. The rates were reasonable and her communication thorough. She even sends out a Zihuatanejo Guide that she's written to help her guests. For us, that guide was invaluable! She lets you know where to eat that's safe (no one wants Turista) and how much taxis should cost and all of that. She gives contacts for everything from fishing to massages. Very cool.

We supposedly went during the low (meaning: rainy) season and got a better rate. Rainy season, my ass. It was hot and the weather was stunning. We did have one afternoon of torrential downpours, but it was short-lived and we had already come in for the day so it mattered not to us. It cooled things down, that's for sure. I did feel kinda bad though, because there was a wedding party at La Casa Que Ve Al Mar (the name of our condo complex) and I feared the bride would get rained out.

The torrential downpour - taken from the balcony, looking down at the road.

The bride and her posse.

Happily the rain ended and we headed down to the beach for dinner. We actually saw the couple getting married on the beach! Sweet! As a side note, I am so glad that we didn't have an outside wedding. I would hate to have to deal with last minute weather changes. No thank you.

So, back to the details! We arrived at Sueno del Mar and we were greeted by this lovely welcome basket!

As well as this amazing view from our al fresco living room...

Let me tell you, this view did not suck one bit. Not at all.

The place was filled with the most amazing local art, this lady being one of them!

I will leave this recap with the place where we spent most of our time.

The view of the master bedroom from the balcony.

Our welcome towel art.

The view from the bed. Seriously, why leave?

I promise more 'moon recaps later as well as wedding recaps. I have got some thank you notes to write! :) So happy to be home!

We're Home!

2009-10-23T09:27:00.004-05:00

We're home! We're home! Oh, my little blogging friends, there is so much to fill you in on. Where the hell do I start? OK, let's start with just a sneak peek at the first pictures from the fabulous Jonathon Campbell! Check out the first one over on their blog.

Many thanks to the MOH for updating in my absence! Fun pictures, no?

For now I've got piles of laundry, an empty fridge, a dirty bathroom and thank you notes to write! Sigh, a wife's work is never done......

Me. A wife. Go freakin' figure.

Wedding Eve, Part Deux

2009-10-21T22:20:00.006-05:00

So how much fun do we think T30SB is having Mexico? Very, very much fun. I am sending her a plethora of chillaxation vibes.

In the meantime, I have a few more photos for you. I don't have the energy for a lot of witty comments (not that my usual comments as all that witty), so I will just show you some photos and tell you how awesome it was.

Saturday night was the rehearsal gathering with a great collection of T30SB and the Candyman's friends and family. We all gathered at Aloft, and a great time was had by all*. The T30SB is having a good time, see?

And here's a not-so-great photo of the really great couple. Even with the poor photo quality, you can tell how dashing they look:

And here is T30SB being very sweet to the FG. Plus, you can sort of see the T30SB's cool earrings.

Again, I have more photos, but I don't want to put up pictures of folks without their permission, so you're stuck with T30SB, The Candyman, and the FG.

Most, importantly, the rehearsal gathering was a great, informal way for so many of us to see and visit with each other before the big day. Nice planning, T30SB!

*It might have been nice to have a couple of more bartenders on duty, but I'll let T30SB say more about that if she so chooses.

Wedding Eve

2009-10-18T23:05:00.012-05:00

It's GEW again, stepping in for T30SB while she is chillaxing in Zihuatanejo. I just spent a little while drafting a post about Girls' Night Out, and then I remembered that T30SB already wrote about Girls' Night Out. Duh.

So, instead, I'll share a few details about Saturday, otherwise known as T30SB's Wedding Eve.

We began the day with a trip to J. Bangs so that Julie could blow out T30SB's hair to get it prepped and ready the the big 'do of the big day. Here is the happy T30SB, happily getting her hair done, happily wearing her T-shirt that says, "The Price is Wrong, Bitch."

After the hair prep, T30SB generously treated me, the Moh, to a pedi/mani, which was fabulous. Unfortunately, it was so fabulous that I forgot to take pictures.

Saturday afternoon was for the rehearsal. Since I had a role in the shindig, I didn't get too many pictures of that either. Plus, I don't want to post pics of people who haven't given me permission, and most of my pictures have several people in them. So I will just show you a picture of the Flower Girl who was wearing the hairtoy that T30SB made for me. I just happened to put it in her hair since she was wearing a black dress. It looked so cute atop her head:

The rehearsal was lovely and sweet, and my aunt, the Mother-of-the-Bride, got a little weepy just from observing the practice run. I guess she was rehearsing the crying. Not a bad idea, since it reminded us how much tissue we would need for the Big Day.

Wedding Eve continued with the Rehearsal Gathering, but more about that later. Right now, it's time for my nightly dose of relaxation with port and chocolate. Cheers!

Greetings from the Moh!

2009-10-15T23:12:00.009-05:00

Currently, if all has gone well, TSB is settling into her small-town resort in Mexico (the town starts with a "Z", right?). She is looking out over her infinity pool, gazing at the shimmer of the Gulf of Mexico. If all has not gone well, there is an airline agent somewhere between Nashville and Mexico who is cowering in the face of TSB's wrath.

As for me, I am sitting in a very messy house after getting the kids put to bed, and I am guest blogging for TSB when I should be cleaning the house or drafting a proposal for a conference paper (among other things).

I am GoodEnoughWoman (a.k.a. GEW), and I am TSB's Cousin--otherwise known as TSB's Moh. And I am here to tell you how awesome the wedding weekend was.

First, I will tell you some ways in which I am different from TSB, just so you know where I'm coming from.

1. The TSB is tall and thin. I am neither.

2. The TSB is sarcastic. I enjoy irony but am, overall, less sardonic (sardonical?) than TSB.

3. The TSB is budget savvy. Me, not so much.

4. The TSB is very stylish. I, on the other hand, wear clogs and Chacos.

5. The TSB eats her cereal dry. I prefer mine with milk.

There. That should get us started.

So. TSB's wedding was absolutely beautiful. As you know, TSB is great with details (me? not so much). But as a non-detail-oriented person, I am here to tell you that the wedding was absolutely beautiful, and even I (the detail-blind Moh) was able to observe the ways in which all of TSB's efforts paid off. The service at the chapel was lovely and elegant, and the reception at Mere Bulles was stunning. It was a grand affair, down to the last detail.

But let me back up. The wedding extravaganza began with the Great Cookie Bake, so let's start with that. Voila! A photo essay:

Delicious and beautiful. No?

Stay tuned for another post about Girls' Night Out.

Left-Over Wedding Cake and Pinot Gris......What?

2009-10-14T14:25:00.005-05:00

That's just what I had for a post-lunch snack! I'll admit, I do feel a little oogey for it, but hey. It's two days after our wedding and there's no food in the house as we leave for our honeymoon tomorrow! So excited! I highly suggest this - waiting a day or two before you leave for the 'moon. We were able to return chapel keys, pick up chargers and bud vases, return un-drunk wine (hello, $329.73!), take my dress and veil in for preservation, do laundry and pack. Oh, and eat left-over cake and drink left-over wine. WHAT? There's nothing wrong with that, right? Please tell me what is wrong with having a glass of pinot gris and watching re-runs of Flipped Out on Bravo at 2:30 in the afternoon? Nothing is wrong with that, my friends. Nothing at all.

OK, well maybe except for the fact that I'm to be bathing-suit worthy next week. Awwww, eff it. I'm going to have my cake and eat it too!

I have few more pics to share courtesy of The Thirty-Something Bride's dad!

The Candyman getting flowers pinned by our planner, Tabitha. I think this pic is so cute!

Bridal sassiness after our "first look."

My MOH with her daughter, The Flower Girl.

SMOOCHES!

First dance as hubby and wife!

So I'm going to be MIA for a while. The Thirty-Something Bride's MOH mentioned stepping in whilst I am 'mooning to offer a different perspective of our wedding. I hope she's not too busy to do it. She's working on her PhD and has lots of writing due. If she can't, I'll catch you on the flip side of next week with tons of pics from Jonathon Campbell (I'm hoping! They are so busy, those crazy photographers!) and updates on the details and how it all shook out after 10 months of planning! Stay tuned!

Gooey Like Grilled Cheese

2009-10-13T07:53:00.004-05:00

I am speechless. Not sure where to start with this one.

It was fabulous. It was gorgeous and intimate and so much more than I ever envisioned. When I started the planning process, I had nothing in my head. As I tried to figure it all out, it became slightly more clear. When I started blogging in April, the vision became a little less hazy, but I still couldn't see the final thing in my head. This was tough for me as it's how I work in my day job. I can see the final thing in my head and work towards that vision. My wedding was somehow different though.

Towards the end of the process, I had a clearer picture but the reality was so much more wonderful than anything I ever conjured up in my head. The flowers were stunning. The food was delicious. The friends and family who came to witness our love and commitment to each other was completely overwhelming. The support of our vendors and their commitment to our day was outstanding.

Did we have a few little hiccups? Why, yes we did. But they were small and managed with tack and speed by my wonderful day-of planner, Tabitha.

The most wonderful part of the whole thing is that The Candyman and I committed ourselves to each other in a way that was the most meaningful to us. It was so freakin' cool.

I'm trying to figure out where to start on the recaps. I can't do budget for a while because I need to get all that sorted out. And honestly, I do NOT want to look at that goddamn spreadsheet for a while. I need the honeymoon first (we leave on Thursday!). I don't have too many pictures yet, but I have a few from friends who posted on Facebook.

Me and The Candyman and our El Día de los Muertos Cake Toppers!

With Ginger - the keeper of these first photos!

Dancing with Dad!

Once I get some more photos and have some more time. I'll start sharing! I gotta get ready to go to Mexico!!!!!

Thanks so much to everyone who came and helped us celebrate. It was so wonderful and meaningful to us, you have no idea. All the family and friends who worked so hard to get here - to travel from far and wide and take time away from their own lives and families to be with us - it means so much to us. Especially now, when everyone is feeling the pinch of the economy, that reality is not lost on us and that makes all the effort that much more wonderful, powerful and thick with ooey, gooey love. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, as well as The Candyman's!

So Cool.

2009-10-10T22:19:00.002-05:00

It's so cool that so many people have come from so far away to celebrate with me and The Candyman.

Tonight was a blur. I'm trying to slow down and take it all in, but I just can't. It's all happening so quickly. How do I make go in slow mo? I want to watch it all like I used to watch Steve Austin run in The Six-Million Dollar Man. But it's like it's all getting sped up. I don't think that's quite fair.

So many of my friends have now met other friends they'd only heard about. Families have met families. It's really wonderful and cool. I want Superman to fly around the world backwards and slow it all down. Please? Just for tomorrow? I don't want to miss anything.

Thanks, Betty.

2009-10-10T07:11:00.007-05:00

Last night was supposed to be a casual get together of my BFF's who were in town last night. We were going to meet up at Rumours Wine Bar, have a glass or two of wine and then maybe wander across the street to Mirror for a little tapas and the good company of chef/owners Mike and Colleen. If you are local and you have never been here, you are missing out. This is one of my favorite things on the menu (duh, of course it's dessert!)

Allow me to introduce Chocolate Soup. That, my friends is a deep fried, dark chocolate truffle nestled in a nest of whipped cream. The soup? That's melted white chocolate. It's thinned with something incredible tasty, probably butter. Imagine the oogey gooey chocolate mess when you dive into that truffle. This, my little blog-reading buddies, is pure genius.

But I digress. My good friends and partners in crime, Alecia and Michele set up Rumours in good ol' fashioned Bachelorette Party style. After complaining about parties and showers and what not, I got exactly what I wanted without even really knowing what I wanted!

All the best and important people in my life were there (Except for you, Marie!But she did send me a lovely text during the affair!) and we just laughed and had fun and everyone got along from different corners of my life. It was just awesome.

Alecia and Michele were kind enough not to bring penis crowns or sippy cups and all that stuff that I can't stand. I was forced to wear a veil for a brief period of time. I did come to enjoy wearing my blink-y Bride-to-Be button, although I did put up a stink about it at first. It was just an extra accessory I hadn't planned on, so had to warm up to the idea.

The best part of the night was the new woman Michele introduced into our fold of friends.

I'd like to introduce Betty. She was a little under-dressed for the affair and I question her accessory choices for the venue. That's a whip there on her wrist. Clearly she was enjoying the Prosecco a little too much. Lush.

We became fast friends though. Look how close we got in such a brief amount of time. Betty partook in all sorts of adventures, all night long. She really enjoyed the red velvet cake with cream cheese frosting.

Things got a little crazy though when we couldn't keep her off the pole.

She got a little out of hand at Mirror, so Kim had to kick her out. Here's Betty, gettin' the boot.

Thanks to everyone for the great night! I'm getting married tomorrow!

L.A. Barb, The Thirty-Something Bride, Aloha Alecia, D.C. Michele, California Cousin & MOH Sally, Nashville Kim, Atlanta Lisa. Woot! Woot!

I'd like to say congratulations to local bride and blog-reader, Sabine who is getting married TODAY! Best of luck and love to you today! I'll be thinking about you!

Whoa.

2009-10-08T21:38:00.002-05:00

I don't think my phone has rung so many times in one day. Holy cow. I just said good-night to my parents. The Candyman is still off cavorting with his dad and brothers.

Tonight was such a nice night. I was about to start enlisting the troops to have dinner: my aunt and uncle, my MOH and her 2 kids and my parents. I had forgotten to call back my MOH, as well as my day-of planner (both called me back, thank goodness!). For about an hour, I was completely brain dead. My parents were saying stuff to me and I was just like, "Um. Um. Um. I don't know? I know that I know, but just not right now?" And I was talking to my MOH like that. It was very strange. I went over the plan of action for the weekend when she first got here and thank God she had a good memory because mine is for shit right now. Seriously, my mind is a total void. Is this normal? There's a picture of my MOH on her wedding day where she looks a little stunned. Now I know why.

Anyway, my parents said that they wanted to spend some time with just me before the wedding madness started and I thought that was sweet. I wasn't sure how the rest of the clan felt about it, but we are going to be so up each others butt's here for the next three days, I'm sure dinner isn't a big deal. Anyway, it was great. Dinner was low key and easy, and we came back to the house and just had great conversation about all sorts of things. My dad told this goofy story about a fake bug called a "Poison Zillian" that had him in tears. Then we talked about marriage and The Candyman and what a good man he is. We talked about how people fight and how they make up and how my mom and dad paid $29,000 for their first house! Can you imagine?

I feel a little less brain dead. I feel good. I can't wait for all the craziness to start. The Candyman will be home soon. I can't wait to snuggle up.

Tomorrow, we bake.

AND Exhale.......

2009-10-08T16:51:00.002-05:00

Work is done. I don't have to go back until October 26th.

How happy am I?

I'm sitting here waiting for The Candyman to come home. I'm sitting here waiting for my parents to come over (they are already in town).

The weather says clear, but it will be a little cold. Good thing I'm shrugalicious, no?

I am ready to be married.

"I Got it at Jared!" And Boy, Am I Sorry I Did!

2009-10-07T08:54:00.004-05:00

Bling! Bling! Bling! This picture really doesn't do it justice. At all.

Back when The Candyman and I were ring shopping, I had my heart set on a halo style ring. The only bummer was that we weren't going to be able to afford a ring that I really wanted. I didn't want anything crazy, just nice. Happily, my Mom and Dad came to the rescue in terms of the diamond. I blogged about it decades ago (at least it feels that way) here.

In my search for the perfect ring (and eventually, the setting) I found a style that I loved at Jared. The store is near my office so I went in a few times at lunch and looked around. Because I was so nervous, I don't think I really registered the fact that I was being swarmed by sales people. After my mom gave us her ring and we went seriously setting shopping, we went back to Jared. We met with this super-cool sale woman and we loved her. A lot. So much so that we bought the ring, the band and The Candyman's band all at once. I called about 2 months after the purchase to talk to her about something ring-related and she no longer worked there. Great.

Fast-forward to my 6 month "ring check-up." I called ahead and they said it would only take a few minutes, so I went in at lunch. I was approached by FOUR different sales people in a span of about 8 minutes. The shop is MAYBE 800 square feet. I had placed myself at the service window, away from the counters to avoid further assault. Did this work? No. Another sales person came up to me and asked if I needed help. I told her (as I told the four others), "For the fifth time, NO! I'm getting my ring serviced and I'm not here to buy anything. Please tell the other vultures that I'm not buying!" She looked stunned and shocked and offended that I was abrupt (yes, and rude) in a jewelry store. I told her, "No one wants to feel like they're in a used car lot. The sales people here need to communicate with each other as to who has been helped and who has not. I am clearly waiting at the service counter and am not shopping." She went crawling back under her rock like I'd crushed her first born with a Mack truck or something. I felt no pity for her.

With the pending nuptials on the horizon, I figured I had to bite the bullet and go back to Jared to get my ring cleaned. I went in yesterday at lunch. I walked up to the first person I saw and asked if I could get my engagement ring cleaned as I was getting married this weekend (like every good bride, I'm mentioning this fact to everyone who crosses my path). The first words out her mouth?

Bleach Blonde Jared Whore: Well, did you buy it here?

In my head: Yes, you effing bitch, I did.

Out of my mouth: Yes, I bought the setting here. The diamond is a family heirloom.

Bleach Blonde Jared Whore: Oh, well does it need to be serviced?

In my head: No, you effing bitch. LISTEN to me, I said I needed it cleaned.

Out of my mouth: No, just cleaned.

Bleach Blonde Jared Whore: When are your service months, does it need to be serviced?

In my head: Louise, please don't punch her.

Out of my mouth: My months are May and December. I am getting married on Sunday. My ring is dirty. I need it cleaned. Can you clean it considering I bought my setting, band and my fiance's band here? Is this a problem?

Bleach Blonde Jared Whore: I guess not. Let me have it.

In my head: DON'T punch her. Don't do it. Tell The Candyman to punch her. He'll promise to do it, even though he wouldn't hurt a fly, but it will make you feel better because he'll promise to punch her.

Out of my mouth: Here.

So I wander over to one of the counters to pass the time. I am approached.

Decrepit Jared Tool Who Used to Sell Cars: Can I help you?

In my head: Here we go again......

Out of my mouth: No, thank you. I've been helped.

Decrepit Jared Tool Who Used to Sell Cars: Can I get you some watercoffeecappucino?

In my head: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Out of my mouth: No, thank you. I've been helped. I'm just getting my ring cleaned.

Decrepit Jared Tool Who Used to Sell Cars: Oh, are you getting it serviced?

In my head: What is this with the "service"?

Out of my mouth: No. Just cleaned.

Decrepit Jared Tool Who Used to Sell Cars: Are you sure I can't get you any watercoffeecappucino?

In my head: Go away. Go away. Go away.

Out of my mouth: NO, thank you.

So a few minutes later, the Bleach Blonde Jared Whore comes back with my ring. I thank her and nearly sprint out of the store. I slip my ring on and look at it. It was so not clean. Sigh.

So after work I go to The Shane Company, where I walk in, more than a little distracted.

Lady Behind the Counter: Hi! Welcome! Is there anything I can help you with?

In my head: Don't be annoyed yet. Don't be annoyed yet.

Out of my mouth: Yes, I hope so. I would like to get my ring cleaned, but I didn't buy it here. Is that a problem?

Lady Behind Counter: No, not at all. Can I clean your other ring for you as well?

In my head: Oh, hey! Look at that! That ring is dirty too.

Out of my mouth: Wow. That would be really nice, thanks!

Lady Behind Counter: The cleaning will take about 10 minutes. Please look around if you'd like. My name is Atia, if you need anything.

In my head: *Sigh*

Out of my mouth: Thanks!

Atia comes back out and we chat a little, light convo, nothing big. I thoroughly examine every ring and setting there and decide that yes, my ring is much prettier than everything there. I wander over to the men's counter and see some really cool guy's bracelets. I make eye contact with Atia and she comes over and shows me the bracelets that are surprisingly, really affordable! I end up buying two, one for each of The Candyman's brothers who will be at the wedding (one can't come and the other passed away). During this process, I bitch to Atia about Jared's. She was shocked that I had my ring cleaned there not 7 hours earlier. While I'm paying and waiting, Atia says, "Without sounding like an obnoxious Jared's used car saleman, I mean, jewelry salesman, can I offer you some bottled water?" In my head AND out of my mouth: "I love you."

Bending in the Wind

2009-10-06T08:30:00.005-05:00

So yesterday I got yet another huge project dumped on me at work. Yay! Again, do these people not know I'm getting married in FIVE DAYS?????

Anyway, I sprint out of work to meet The Candyman at our therapist's office for our last pre-marital session. It was pretty cool! She asked us all sort of questions about when and how we knew the other was "the one," what we wanted the other to know on our wedding day, what we thought our thoughts would be. It was a great exercise! Afterward, I hauled my cookies over to a restaurant to meet a client for dinner and then bolted home. There, I found an email from the mother of my MOH (they have been driving across country this week, visiting friends and making their way to Nashville) saying that she and her husband would be arriving in Nashville a day early. RUT-RO (said in my best Scooby voice)!

God forbid folks check in without the OOT bags available to hand out! What is the point of the OOT bag, I ask you, if it is not there at check in? The whole idea of the OOT is therefore blown to bits. OK, so maybe not blown to bits. Perhaps I'm being a bit too dramatic. Perhaps.

At any rate, The Thirty-Something Bride needed to organize herself and fast! All the bags were on the living room floor in a sea of cotton totes. I know I have more than I need, but I did not know exactly how many people were coming when I started ordering stuff. Oh well. I could have waited and saved a few bucks, but then I'd by scurrying around more now than I already am. I think that's worth a few extra dineros - in hindsight.

The problem was that I needed to replace the old OOT Welcome Letter with the new one. Since I totally FAILED at getting all the pertinent info on the first round, I had to reprint. No biggie though as it was super fast. However, I didn't have enough little sticky things to close them, so I wasn't sure what to do about that. I was going to head over to Michael's to find inspiration, but it came to me on my own for once.

I still have left-over card stock, so I found a cute design over on Martha Stewart, and totally lifted it into Publisher and made my own label in my own color, with my own font, etc. I laugh at the "print only" on-line templates! *Muah, ah, ah!* I used my left-over glue dots and just made a quick seal-like thing. No, this wasn't really a new project, but a re-do project. Big diff. ;)

The Candyman pulled all the old letters and stuffed the new letters for me. So sweet. I do believe it might have been a little too much OOT for the poor Candyman.

So I started trying to organized which bags went where since people are kinda staying all over the place (part of this I totally get, the other part, not so much). I had made a few bags with some extra stuff - for the folks who were staying longer or who had kids and such and I was confusing the hell out of myself. I decided on another quick fix, just to keep from losing my mind. I ran upstairs, typed guests last names into a format I used for my favor thank you tags and printed. I punched out the names with my tag puncher thingy, punched holes in them and ran some extra ribbon through them so I could tie them onto the bags. That way, I knew which bags were to be delivered where and which to stuff extra stuff into. The whole process probably took me an extra 15 minutes, tops.

I think they are kinda cute! I dropped two groups of bags off at two of the hotels this morning. One lady was so sweet, the other, not so much. I don't know why this bothered me, but as I was handing over my totes, delicately, by the handles. She was just grabbing at them on the sides, knotting the bags up in her sweaty little fist (I'm sure it was sweaty). I mean, hello woman! Do you not know how much work I just put into these? Then, she was just tossing them on the floor. Oh no, she did not just do that. The last group I handed over to her, she went to grab at them and I pulled them away from her sweaty little palms and gave her the Icy Stare of Death and said nothing. She looked at me, cocked her head in confusion, the light came on and she reached again for the handles and placed them nicely on the ground. I smiled sweetly, thanked her and left. Do not underestimate The Thirty-Something Bride's Icy Stare of Death.

I just got off the phone with my MOH's mom! I think she'll be here in time to have lunch with me!!!!!! It's starting people, it's starting. Hang on, it's going to be a wild ride!!!!!