RMD (Rehearsal Meltdown)? Almost!

At The Rehearsal Gathering with The Candyman!

So the day before the wedding was so crazy, but all in a good way. First on the list was picking up the MOH and then The Dress. Then we stopped by J. Bangs Salon to get my hair blown out. It needed a good day of dirt in it for it to stay up the next day. Then the MOH and I had a little down time at Venetian Nail Spa. It's my go-to place for mani-pedi's, for sure. Now I've never had a bad experience there, but I swear I got the worst lady there on the day before my wedding. She had to redo my toes as there was polish all over my skin. Um, hello? Getting married. With super cute shoes. The toes need to look good, lady. I was slightly annoyed, but not too much. It was just nice to hang with the MOH and have hot water on my feet. That feels gooooood.

I had to run the MOH back to the hotel and then go home and change for the rehearsal, dinner and gathering. I hadn't seen or talked to The Candyman ALL DAY and I was really missing him for some reason. I called him, hoping he'd be at home when I got there. He answered saying, "You're driving home the back way, aren't you?" Me, "Um, yeah. How did you know?" He said, "I just passed you. I'm going to pick up my brothers." Nooooooooooooo! I was so sad he wasn't going to be at the house!

I got there, knew I was running about 10 minutes late and had to throw myself into the ensemble. You know how when you're in a hurry and nothing is working? Yeah, it was one of those moments. I had forgotten to put these petal things in my shoes and I couldn't get into the damn package. It was like Superman-plastic or something. I ripped it open with my brute strength and one of the petal things goes flying across the room and DISAPPEARS! So I'm crawling around on the floor on my hands and knees in a pair of Spanx and nothing else, looking for this damn shoe insert thing. Yeah. Go ahead. Just try and erase that visual. Just try.

So I get all dressed, my make up is on and I want to put my hair back some, just to keep it out of my face. I start to put it back and my hands are totally shaking. My hair is also super slippery, and I just can't keep a hold of it. Try and try as I might, I can't get my hair to do an effing thing. I start to get super flustered and am about to cry. I am shaking so bad and my nerves were just SHOT. I decided to screw the hair and wear it down. The thing is, when my hair is straight and down, I can't ever stop touching it. It always feels so good, that I'm just constantly pushing it around and playing with it. I didn't really want to be distracted by my hair at the rehearsal, but it was either that or a total WPM right before the rehearsal.

I got to the chapel and everyone was already there. Funny thing is, I had the key and no one could get in! Figures I'd be late to my own wedding rehearsal.

The Candyman, cutting up. Tabitha will have none of that.

The Candyman clutching on me!

The rehearsal went well, everyone knew what to do and we called it a wrap. We sent the families off to do their own thing and The Candyman and I headed to The Park Cafe for dinner. We gave each other our wedding presents, which I will reveal in a later post, because they are both totally post-worthy. We had a fabulous dinner, but in no time, the hour had come to head to the Rehearsal Gathering. We walked in to all of our friends and family, gathered in one spot!

My brother and his wife.

My Mom and DC Michele.

So, here's the crappy part. I had scheduled this little shindig at Aloft Hotel months ago. I also had a block of rooms there. Sadly, not a lot of people stayed there. I have no idea why, it's just how it all shook out. A few days before, I had received an email from Aloft sales team asking for a final number so that they could properly staff the bar. I told them between 40-60 people. Or maybe I told them between 40-50 people. An any rate, an average of 50 people. I'm thinking maybe 60 or so showed up, counting local pals who weren't invited to the wedding.

They only had ONE bartender. ONE. There were people at one end of the bar who had to wait an HOUR for a damn drink. I was furious. I approached the lady at the counter to complain. She told me that the manager was trying to get someone in . Still, 20 minutes later - nothing. I went back again and complained. She said the manager was working on it. This woman ended up behind the bar in order to help, but she wasn't of age and couldn't serve. Big help that was.

The thing is, the ONE bartender sucked. Hard. I only had one drink the entire night and that's only because someone got it for me, demanding a glass of wine for THE BRIDE.

I have been a bartender. I have been a waitress. I have been a retail manager. I know what being in the weeds is all about. This dude was so far under, there was no way he was going to get out. He also had no idea how to work a bar.

After I had approached the desk twice, a friend took over the task of "dealing" so that I could be with my guests. A second bartender never appeared. As a manager/server/bartender I was furious at the lack of service or acknowledgment at Aloft. I called them after the wedding and before we left for the honeymoon and spoke with the hotel manager.

While I got an OK apology, the guy actually said to me, "Well, for a party of 50, we normally wouldn't schedule more than one bartender." Um, what? You have 50 people, all coming in at once, who will all want cocktails at once and you don't even schedule a bar-back? I'm sorry, but that's the most fucking insane thing I've ever heard, especially when it was clear that bartender had no idea what he was doing. Even if that is their scheduling policy - at least lie to me about it. The manager lamely asked me if he could "do something" for me, but really what could he? Offer me a free hotel night? No thanks, I live here. The damage was done. I was irritated and most importantly, embarrassed that my guests were unable to properly enjoy themselves because of their poor planning.
After I got back from the honeymoon, I was stewing on it a little more and decided further action was needed. I wrote a letter to their corporate office. I've received an email saying that it was received and that I would have resolution within 5 days. We're on day two. I'll keep you updated.
The sad thing is, people there wanted to PARTY. I mean, folks wanted to get their drink on and no one could get a freakin' cocktail! I wonder how much money they lost that night.

Here's one my friend's kids who pooped out early that night. I couldn't resist the shot. And this is my sentiment towards Aloft Hotel right now. Boo on them.

I did pull her little dress down afterward. No girl wants her panties showing, regardless of how old she is!

Bubbies

OK, so after the ladies and I finished the OOT bags, we headed out shopping. I needed a rehearsal ensemble and just a girl's day out at The Mall. Y'know what I mean? Some days, a girl just has to shop. And shop we did. I did find a rehearsal ensemble and I'll get into that later, but what I'm going to share now is really important. Really.

CLEAVAGE

Now, I think I might have mentioned a time or two before that I just don't have a large set of twins on my body. God is fair. He made me tall and somewhat lean. I have a bit of a booty. He doesn't give it all to everyone unless He wreaks havoc on the rest of your life (Britney Spears, for example). I'm happy with what I've got and with the fact that I have had very little wrath rained down upon me. Thankfully, I can buy lots of things to help matters in the cleavage department when I need to.

At my first official dress fitting, it was clear that additions were to be made. We had to take the sides in, the front in and add C-cup pads to get the dress to even remotely fit in the boobs. Please note Exhibit A below. I cut off my head because the picture is horrrrrrrrid, but you can clearly see the boob issues. To emphasize what isn't emphasized in my dress, in this photo I am wearing TWO (yes, TWO) B-cup pads. The sides had been pinned and nothing was done to the front.


Please note the gaping holes in the dress where boob should be. We thought that adding the C-cup pads (since I was wearing 2 B's in this shot) would be plenty. Nope. That is simply not the case. At my last fitting, the seamstress had pulled the front cross-over portion in to tighten the gap. It fit better, but there was still, um...space. She went and got one of those small pad insert things and I put those in. The twins popped right up into place and it looked like I had massive, amazing cleavage. Sweet.

So I knew I'd have to buy some of those pad thingies. I looked around on-line, but really wasn't happy with what I saw, nor did I really understand what I saw. I knew it was going to have to be a touchie-feelie sort of thing. So, while we were out shopping, we popped into some random lingerie shops. I hate over-paying for anything at Victoria's Secret, so we hit Aerie, the lingerie store from America Eagle. Jackpot! I found exactly what I was looking for: chicken cutlets!

Yes, chicken cutlets. That's what they totally look like. I mean, look at them! One might be tempted to bread those suckers up and fry them in some oil.

Source

The top cutlets are the smaller inserts called "Show Off A Little." The larger ones are called "Show Off A Lot." I bought both since I'm not sure which one will look best. They said I could return the one I didn't need, so that's cool. The smaller cutlets were $14.50 and the larger cutlets were $29.50. We'll see which one works breast. I mean, best. Oh, I crack myself up.

Source

Just as a quickie update: we only have one outstanding RSVP now (Oh Hags, please just call me back for goodness sake!). Well, technically four including the last minute invitations that went out today to my mom's cousin, her husband (both of whom I've met once) and my great aunt (who actually rocks). I think perhaps I will discuss this last minute invite topic at a later date.

The cops found The Candyman's truck in a parking lot less than 5 miles from our house. Nothing seems to be wrong with it, so that's good.

I had a gigantic WPM night before last, but I think The Candyman did too. I think it was more of just a meltdown in general. I cannot wait to be married on our honeymoon! 18 more days!!!!!!!

Trials....indeed. Part II

I think everyone knows by now that The Thirty-Something Bride leans a little towards the dramatic side at times. Who? Me? ;) Just keep that in mind.

When Tabitha (my day-of go-to girl) set up my trial run with Julie, the owner of J. Bangs Salon in Green Hills, I was a little hesitant. It's a new salon - only open since April. Their website is bare bones right now. I was already nervous. My stress levels are not that of a normal individual.

I headed out to the appointment with an attempt at a care-free attitude. I threw my hair up into The Bradshaw Bun and not wanting to forget my hair toy for the appointment, clipped that into my hair. Pretty! I felt pretty good. I jumped in the go-mobile and headed out to Green Hills. The day was warm and sunny and I had the window down, riding on the freeway with the music up. I continued to feel pretty good. I exited and when I rounded the exit ramp, I saw a flutter from the corner of my eye. Bye-bye hair toy. Yes, it's true. The coveted and recently awarded hair toy from DonnaElla is now, I'm sure, smooshed under an 18-wheeler on I-65 North. Decidedly NOT feeling so good now.

I arrived at J. Bangs a mess. I was disorganized and was trying to carry all this crap into the salon (wedding notebook with all my hair pictures, veil, purse, keys, jewelry, Starbucks - the usual). Tabitha got there at the same time and we walked in together. She could see I was frazzled and I told her that I was so nervous - it was trial number THREE! I mean, come on! Am I that picky? Am I being totally unreasonable? She poo-poo'd me and shoved me towards a chair.

Behind that chair was a breath of fresh air, Ms. Julie Marler. Instead of eyeing me with a look of confusion and fear (as most people do who see me in freak-out mode), she smiled easily and motioned me to sit. Then she offered me a glass of wine. Hell, yes. I was hot and starting to sweat at that point so I asked for white (I generally prefer red). She came back with the most giant glass of white wine and I gulped like half of it down immediately.

We talked about my photos, what I was looking for, what was making me nervous and why I was there. She agreed that we needed to blow me out (curly is decidedly too risky since you can't trust my hair to behave the same way twice - ever) and work from there.

Lisa, my shampoo lady gave me a great wash with a lavender mint shampoo that really relaxed me. It was awesome. After a blowout and a flat iron, Julie went to work on the do.

Here's Julie making the slightest adjustment to the sides that made a big difference in the overall look.

We decided to do a deep side part and sweep all my hair over to the side. The only problem right now is that my hair is in desperate need of a cut and color, so I have crazy frizzy hair all over the place. That will be remedied prior to The Big Show.

Once Julie was done, we tried it out with the veil. Oh no! Because my hair was now on one side, the veil poofed out on one side. I knew I'd be adding a flower hair toy (of which I'm looking for now again) and I thought that would probably add some volume under the veil. Julie grabbed a plumeria from her front desk and tucked it in my hair. Problem solved. The veil looked fine. I brought my jewelry with me too, so put that on, just for good measure. *Please note the nearly empty wine glass. Of course I was smiling!

We moved onto the make-up area and got to work. I needed a little tiny push from Tabitha to tell her what I thought. It was so hard! She started with a dark grey liner on my eyes and I was not digging it. I got the courage to tell her brown and it immediately made a difference! We agreed that we didn't need to use bronzer since it looks orange on my pale-ass skin. It was hard to tell about the blush because there was a little bronzer on me, but I think it will be OK.

Here's the final make-up. I think it looks really good. I felt comfortable in it. I wore it the rest of the day and I felt great all day. When I got home, The Candyman gushed a little. He said that this was definitely my best look, the most pretty and the most me. I think I need to go buy the lipstick from Julie because it was a gorgeous color. I wold have never picked it out myself. I love when stuff like that happens.

We took a sunshine picture and I think the make-up looks good here too. Not too heavy. The only comment about the hair is that it looks a little odd in this shot. That little lump at the bottom is a bit strange! We had been adjusting and tugging and I think it might just be a result of all that. I do think I want the curls to be just a hair looser. Pun intended. :)

I think it looks prettier on this side!

The overall plan is to go in on Saturday and it get it blown out. My hair will be down and straight for the rehearsal, which is AWESOME! Even more awesome is that I don't have to do it. My hair will be colored and trimmed and won't have all the fly-aways. Since my hair was squeaky clean, the little height she gave me in the back immediately fell. She's totally confident that the next day (since my hair will have a day's dirt in it) it will stay put. My hair definitely works better a little dirty, so I'm comfy with that happening.

Overall, I'm really pleased. I'm not even paying attention to how much it will cost in the end because I'm happy. Julie mentioned the cost for the day of hair and I just sort of let it roll in one ear and out the other. Process it and let it go. At this point, if I'm happy with it, it's happening.

And that ladies, it how a budget gets blown. Am I right, or am I right?

Food Fight

The Candyman and I just had a huge blowout. Over cake. Yes, cake.

I think we are both feeling way under-appreciated as of late and I think it's taking a toll.

I met for THREE hours with my "day of" planner ironing out details of the flow of the day and who's doing what and all that. The planner is a friend and is doing all this as a wedding gift to me, which I find incredibly generous. I just don't know what I'd do without her. Thank you, Tabitha. You're my saving grace.

We came across a problem with the flow of the reception regarding the cake cutting. The cake is in a room that's nowhere near the dinner area. I thought it would be annoying to have everyone get up, go to another room for us to cut the cake and then go back to the dining area to eat it. My planner suggested that we cut the cake before dinner, if I was game to mixing things up.

I thought it was a unique idea. The cake is close to the cocktail area, so we could cut the cake before everyone sits for dinner. Then, it could be cut and passed for dessert. It might negate the idea of a cake buffet, but I didn't think that through when we were discussing it. Anyway, my initial thoughts were that we could start the reception and our marriage off with something "sweet" and solve the location problem at the same time.

I posed the idea to The Candyman tonight and he did not like it. He also did not handle the critique of the idea well at all. I got defensive. He got mad. I'm upstairs blogging and he's sleeping on the couch. Great.

We are both getting so tired of the wedding planning. I am exhausted. I am sick of thinking about it all. I'm not having a shower or a bachelorette party and I'm tired of feeling sad about that. The Candyman is giving me hell about how I should be concentrating on the vows. He's right, I should be, but there's just so much other stuff to get done. A few people have commented that I need to get friends and family to help. I don't have family here and they've been pretty hands-off thus far. I mean, I had to ask an immediate family member to read my blog so that they know what's going on. That's upsetting. Not that people have to read it every day or that my blog should be how I communicate with my family - it's not. But, there are total strangers in the blog-o-sphere who know more about my wedding than people in my own family. Are my emotions and how I'm communicating them through this post passive-aggressive? Yup, probably so. It's either this are I'm going to go Bridezilla on someone. I know The Candyman feels trampled these days. I just feel alone in Wedding Planning World.

There's a lot about how I feel as a bride that I wrote before I went overseas. I didn't post it for some reason. Scared. Worried that I'd have to deal with people being emotionally passive-aggressive with me. Yeah, my family is big on the passive-aggressive guilt thing. We're all martyrs in our own worlds.

I swear, I am trying so hard.

I know the cake thing is stupid. I'm pretty sure The Candyman agrees. I know I could be dealing with things that are much worse: mean in-laws, parents who invite people we don't know, a myriad of disgruntled bridesmaids - you name it. I know I am lucky in many ways and I'm trying to keep that in mind. I'm trying to remember that this is all about the love. Sadly, I'm not feeling very loved at this moment with The Candyman on the couch. Boo. I think I might go try to coax him upstairs to bed. Wish me luck.

Oh. My. God. I missed it.

I missed the 100 day count down mark. I think I was somewhere over Eastern Europe at the time. Only 98 days until The Big Show. And freak out mode begins.....

I suddenly have so much to do.

At least I am hope and back in the arms of my Candyman.

*Post Post - Oops, that would be HOME!

"I Wish" Wednesday

Source

So my wish for this Wednesday isn't for a physical object, per se. It's more for peace of mind.

I'm nearing a WPM (Wedding Planning Meltdown), or perhaps just a regular, ol' meltdown. I can't tell which at this point. I am so stressed. Here's why:

• I'm afraid that my overseas trip is going to put me way behind on the wedding planning.
  
• I'm not trusting my fiance enough to take care of stuff while I'm gone. In reality, I know he'll do what needs to be done, but I'm still worried about it.
  
• I'm stressing over finances when I really shouldn't be.
  
• The last minute work trip to Dallas really put a kink in what I wanted to accomplish before I left for Asia.
  
• I'm freaked out about the Air France A330 that went down off the coast of Brazil. These things tend to happen in 3's and I'm about to fly around the world (literally) over the next 25 days.
• I'm freaked out about my actual overseas work. The economy has made my business tougher than ever and I just hope my vendors are agreeable.
  
• I have 2 flats of flowers dying in my backyard that I need to get planted. This is bumming me out.
  
• There is so much CRAP in my house. Cases of wedding wine in the closet. Bags of favor boxes that had to be moved to the attic to make room for the wine. The bags join the grapevine wreaths I got cheap for my ceremony flowers. The dining room table has been invitation central for a month. More paper projects cover the sewing table and dresser in the guest room.
  
• My dress is coming in while I'm overseas and this totally bums me out.
  
• Still no wedding shoes.
• Asia is going to be ridiculously hot. New Delhi's LOW temp for the next 10 days is 104, high is 109. Manila has temps in the high 80's with everyday calling for torrential downpours. Parts of China look OK, but it appears to be raining everywhere. There is nothing more gross than a wet China. Mud. Filth. Ew.
  
• I have to pack for overseas travel and I HATE to pack.

So, my wish for Wednesday is for less stress and peace of mind. I need it.

"I Wish" Wednesday

I really have no clue what I'm going to look like on my wedding day. I have an idea of my dress, but since it's not in yet and the size I tried on was a 16 (or 14, I can't remember) and I'm a street size 4 or 6, it's hard to envision myself.

I ordered those blue shoes that I blogged about yesterday. Those aren't confirmed yet.

I have the purse that my wonderful friend Trisha from The Hip Zipper got for me.

I absolutely adore all things vintage, but I'm never really sure if I look good in it. Y'know what I mean? Like, I have really hideous knees (it's true) and NEVER wear short skirts. Ever. I prefer long-ish style shorts too. It's just a thing I've got, OK? Had it my whole life and regardless of what other people think of my knees, I will continue to regard them with disdain and disgust for all eternity. I know I don't look good in short stuff. Not sure how I look in vintage.

But I digress. Again. The point is, what the hell do I want to look like on my wedding day? Dress? Check. Veil? Check. But the veil is only for the ceremony and what about afterwards? What then? The Candyman really likes the headband look. I do too. I love the Jennifer Behr headbands.

Source

Similar to lots of pretty things, these are not in The Thirty-Something Bride's budget. The reality is, I never wear headbands. I don't like the regular kind because they always pinch behind my ears and that feeling just sucks. Who wants to deal with that on the day of The Big Show? I have a TON of hair, but it's really fine. Ribbon headbands just slip right off the back of my head. I just don't want to fuss with any part of my fashion on my wedding day. Period.

I don't even know how I'm wearing my hair, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be up. I might cut the flower that's on my dress off and wear it in my hair. The thing is, with all the Etsy flowers and such, flowers in the hair is very "been there, done that." I want something slightly different? Maybe?

That being said, I was browsing Etsy for inspiration and I found my "I wish" item. It's by Romancing The Bling and it's a gorgeous Art Deco hair comb. Lookit!

Source

Really pretty, right? It's $68, which I guess isn't too bad, but it ain't in the budget. Boo. Hiss. However, I think something like this will look great with my cool, Lucite Art Deco-y purse. Thoughts? I might be able to DIY something similar if I can find a cool shoe clip or pin or something and attach it to a metal comb. I can totally do that. In my spare time. That I have so much of.

I hope that I am not starting to have a WPM (Wedding Planning Meltdown). I'm starting to get nervous about having to go overseas for a month. I hope I have enough done now so that when I come back, I'm still on schedule. My Day Of Planner, Tabitha (Life a la Mode) says I'm rockin' it, so I have to trust her that it is. I must remain calm.

Anyone else (other than The Future Mrs. Smith) having any freak outs?

P.S. Don't forget to comment to win a $50 Gift Certificate from Moments of Elegance!

Stress

Photo by Deviant Art.

Wedding planning is supposed to be a great time in a woman's life right? All the birds are chirping, the sun is shining and I'm supposed to be pooping rainbows, right?

And then reality sets it.

To add to the of planning, the state of the economy and trying to afford a wedding, I've received a blow today that just adds to the stress I'm already feeling. My company is merging with another and upper management salaries were just decreased 10%, across the board. Executive management salaries were cut even deeper. Lots of people were laid off, mostly from within the other company that merged with us, but a few within our organization too.

I feel like someone took a knife and stabbed me in the heart. I feel like someone took years of my hard work and completely stripped me of it. I feel as if I got laid off. I feel like I can no longer afford the wedding I've paid thousands of dollars in deposits for.

I know I'm supposed to feel lucky because I have a job. I do. I am lucky in that regard. I know that in brighter times, my company rewarded me generously and will do so again in better times. I know that in order to survive later, we must sacrifice now.

I know these things. It doesn't change how I feel. It doesn't change the fact that my paycheck will be significantly lower starting next week. It doesn't change the fact that I now have to go back and try to squeeze water from a stone when it comes to the wedding budget AND our household budget.

I'm hurt. I'm upset. I have a raging headache that's been with me since 8:15am when the blow was delivered. I'm angry. I'm really angry. I want to take my anger out on someone....something. I pity the person in front of me at the light this afternoon who hesitates a nano-second at the light.

Here's my blame list: *Republicans, please stop reading now.*
I saw Dick Cheney on Meet The Press this weekend and wanted to strangle him.
I blame Cheney and his puppet GW for this gigantic mess. I blame the people in my company who sought personal financial gain and glory over a company-wide profit scenario. I blame Wall Street greed. I blame The Real Housewives of Orange County/New York/Atlanta/New Jersey for their idiotic anecdotes they are trying to pass as off as "real life." I blame fast food restaurants for being the only affordable food that is slowly killing our country's poor and our children. I blame myself for spending over $100 this weekend on shoes for me and The Candyman. I blame Davidson County for increasing the value of my home during a recession, when home values are at their lowest in decades, in order to build profit in taxes. I blame myself for being emotionally unprepared for the inevitable. I feel like GW and Cheney just took my wedding and shoved it in a greasy paper sack and left it outside for wild animals to tear apart while Jenna and her husband, I'm sure, are happily (and probably expensively) enjoying their first year anniversary today.

Man, am I low. I had hoped to blog about favors today, but maybe not. Tomorrow might be better, yes?

Today I still have a job. Today I have good health. Today I have love. Today. Be present. Be mindful. Be careful, for tomorrow comes. Yes? Yes.