Yuck it Up

STOP!

WARNING!

MOM AND/OR DAD - DO NOT READ THIS POST OR I WILL KILL YOU! I LOVE YOU BOTH DEARLY, BUT I WILL KILL YOU IF YOU SO MUCH AS GLANCE AT THIS POST. YOU WILL RUIN CHRISTMAS FOR EVERYONE IF YOU DO. DO YOU WANT TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR RUINING CHRISTMAS FOR EVERYONE? I THINK NOT. AND WHILE I'M AT IT, AUSTIN AND/OR CHRISTINA - YOU SHOULDN'T READ THIS EITHER. I CAN THREATEN YOU TWO WITH DEATH AS WELL, BUT YOU ARE BOTH CRAFTY, INSANE PEOPLE WHO WOULD GIVE ME A RUN FOR MY MONEY IN A DEATH MATCH. SO, I'M JUST GOING TO TRY TO GUILT YOU INTO NOT READING THIS POST. DO NOT RUIN CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

And back to the recaps.......

The great thing about a First Look scenario is that you get all the pictures out of the way (for the most part) prior to the ceremony and the reception. I am so glad we did this. Any of you with an ounce of Type A coursing through your veins - I highly suggest the First Look. Why? Because I was SO impatient! I was ready to get my reception on.

So after the first look, we had some more formal shots taken as well as some fun ones. Jonathon Campbell, photographer extraordinaire, has a photo-journalistic style, but managed to capture some really great formal portrait styles as well - all with just a hint of flair and personality. And when I say personality, I mean ours, not his. His photography shows off the personality of the people in front of the camera, not behind it.

The Candyman and I crack each other up all the time. We talk all the time. We make faces at each other all the time. We are cheesy and goofy and we don't care. We are so not cool, but I think we do a good job at faking it when we need to. Jonathon was able to capture that in ways that were endearing and charming and just plain romantic. What's great is that our families are the same way! Both are goofy and cheesy and fun and I am so glad we got that vibe captured on film! Below are some of the images that capture this spirit. While they aren't the ones that I will have matted and mounted and hanging in the living room, they are the ones I think I love the very most.

Typical. A shit-eating grin on The Candyman's face and me cracking up!

I absolutely adore this photo. Joshua, The Candyman's brother and Best Man is the wittiest creature I know. He can be so dead-pan. It's awesome. Joshua also has what The Candyman refers to as "The People's Eyebrow." I think this has something to do with the wrestler/actor The Rock, but I have to admit, my knowledge of the WWF is limited. Both The Candyman and his brother have the same eyebrow thing and Joshua is showing it here. I'm sure the look followed a snarky comment that set The Candyman into hysterics.

This is The Candyman and one of his other brothers, Preston. Preston was paralyzed when he was 18 years old (he's 40-something now) and has just the most incredible spirit. Wheelchair or no, those two behave like any other siblings.

OK, I've got to preface these next couple of shots. My MOH is not one who laughs or smiles a whole lot. She never really has been. It's not that she's grumpy or unhappy, it's just got to be something really funny for her to laugh. Her children are very similar. They are not unhappy children, just somewhat serious, like their mother.
Here we are about to get some shots of the The Flower Girl and the MOH and me. As you can see, the FG is taking this very seriously.

Jonathon took a couple of shots with the FG just sort of standing there looking at the camera. She wasn't smiling and looked a little scared. Sharon, Jonathon's partner in crime, gingerly asked her, "Do you think you can give us a little smile, honey?" And right on cue:
Stunner!

Jonathon (or maybe the second shooter?) immediately got this shot right after:
Me and the MOH cracking up at the FG. She went from this sad-looking little girl right into happy mode at the gentlest of prompting. It was too funny!

As I've mentioned several times before, I had to have some "help" in filling out my dress. Not familiar? You can read about it here. Here's my MOH in a moment of jocularity over the new wedding day cleavage!

And then me, checking out the girls myself:

My mother will totally hate this picture of herself, but I love it. She's totally laughing at me for some reason and clearly I'm enjoying myself too!

From the smug look on my brother's face, I know he's probably said something disgusting and/or completely inappropriate. However, since we're family and we all have a totally twisted sense of humor, we think it's funny too.

Now, this last shot might be my most favorite picture of all time. For reals. I'm not exactly sure how this started, but my brother and I have been doing this for decades. If I'm remembering it correctly, he and I were young and were acting up (Southern for misbehaving) one day. Someone (I want to say my dad, but it could have been my mom) told us to knock it off and to stop acting like little cretins. The adults left the room and I asked Austin what a cretin was. He made this weird face at me and made a strange sort of snorting noise and said, "That's a cretin." I mimicked him the best I could and said, "Like this?" And he said, "Yeah, like that!" And thus, The Cretin Face was born. It lives on to this day. Behold, The Cretins.

So it's Friday and this is the last weekend before the holidays. If y'all are as behind as I am then it will be a crazy-insane weekend, no? The beginning of next week is going to be so off-the-hook for me that I'm not sure how much posting time I can get in! Besides, The Candyman and I are heading out to The Carolinas to visit families so will be on the road quite a bit. If I can't get in any good posting time I want to say the following:

Merry Christmas to you. Happy Hanukkah to my Jewish peeps. Happy Kwanza to those who celebrate it. But to all, regardless of how or where you celebrate this time of year, I wish you peace, love and all the happiness and health that The Candyman and I are blessed to have. Please be safe in your travels - look out for the other guy as he might not see you. Please don't drink and drive. Lastly, thank you to all of you who have followed and who continue to follow me in my writing and rants. You have made my wedding journey unforgettable in so many ways. Happy Holidays everyone! More recaps to come!

How YOU Doin'? The First Look!

Thank goodness Jonathon didn't get any pictures of me trying to get into my Dad's car in the wedding dress! It was too funny! I was thinking that I'd shimmy across the back seat and sort of lounge to keep my dress from getting wrinkled. However, the back door didn't open up wide enough for me to back in without the dress potentially getting all up in the door jam and stuff, so I quickly abandoned that idea. My dad moved the front seat back all the way and I climbed in, arranged my dress just so in order to avoid it touching anything and we were off to Owen Chapel!

We got there just as The Candyman was climbing out of his car and I started screaming, "He can't see me yet! He can't see me yet! DAAAAA-AD! Drive around the other way! Drive around the other way!" Tabitha (my fab planer) was in front of the church and I rolled down the window and yelled at her, "Keep him away! Keep him away!" I have no idea why I was so frantic as we we going to officially see each other about a nano-second later. But anyway, Tabs went running across the parking lot and kept The Candyman at bay so that I could climb out and sequester myself away in the back of the chapel!

We got all that taken care of and arranged for The First Look. There are two definite camps when it comes to The First Look. Some vehemently oppose the idea. Others just don't give a damn. I was vehemently opposed to the idea from the very start. Bad luck, you know. However, as time went on, I realized that I wasn't as opposed as I thought. In fact, I totally switched camps. Why? I feared I would be so nervous that experiencing walking down the aisle and the ceremony would be consumed by my whirling brain activity versus paying attention to what was going on right in front of me. The one thing that calms my nerves? The Candyman. I knew that if I saw him before The Big Show, that all my fears would disappear, if I had any. It turns out I was amazingly calm, but getting all the pictures out of the way was a huge time saver and I'm totally psyched we did it!

The Candyman was set up inside the chapel and I entered through the doors behind the pulpit area.

I wonder what The Candyman is thinking! He looks quite devious here.


Hey, baby! You clean up good!

I just love this shot. The beautiful simplicity of Owen Chapel makes me so happy. So happy.

Just practicing!

You know, it's kinda hot in here. Oh, and please look at my sew in bra-cup and teeny boob. I wonder how many people I flashed that night? Hm..... That's what happens when you lose weight right before your wedding. Things start moving around.

Practicing my exit solo. Just kidding. I was just going outside for more pictures.

I want to let y'all know something important. I am NOT posting my most favorite pictures or the best of the best of the all the best that I got from Jonathon Campbell Photography. Why? Because Christmas is in 8 days people! There needs to be SOME element of surprise. Sheesh!

So until December 25th, y'all will have to make do with what I consider my second favorites! Don't worry though - I'll share all in due time. Patience is a virtue, right? RIGHT????

Once Upon A Time.....

....there was a Thirty-Something Bride. This is the story of her wedding day.

I woke up early that day, but not too early as I had dosed myself the night before with two (count 'em TWO) Tylenol PM's (for those of you not in the know, The Thirty-Something Bride has serious sleep issues). The house was quiet as The Candyman was staying with his brothers. I got out of bed and walked over to the window. For the last 2 months Nashville had been plagued with torrential downpours, much to my planning chagrin as October is historically the driest month in Nashville. Keeping this in mind, crossing my fingers and squeezing my eyes tight, I grabbed the turny-thing on my blinds and opened them. I opened my eyes. I started to bawl - from sheer happiness! There wasn't a cloud in the sky and the sun was shining. I prayed to myself, "Dear God, I freakin' owe you one. BIG TIME."

I had planned for my mom, dad, brother and sister-in-law to come over for coffee prior to the start of the wedding day madness. I just wanted to spend a few minutes with the people who know me best. I wanted to be free to freak the fuck out, if need be. Happily though, I was calm. I was in need of some waterproof mascara though (what if I cry!) so made an early a.m. run to Kroger. I also swung by the drive-thru Starbucks and ordered the usual: Grande Skinny Hazelnut Latte, extra hot, no foam (it took me a about a year to figure out how to order it). I proceeded to tell the drive-thru barista of my pending nuptials. Um, duh. Like, I'm not going to freakin' tell every single person who doesn't already know?

As I was driving back to the house, a car flashed it lights at me for some reason. It was early in the morning, we were on a nearly deserted road - what the hell? I slowed and saw why: to my far right was a large group of deer. They decided to cross and were coming around the bend to do so (which is why I didn't see them and why the other driver "flashed" me). About 9 of them picked their way across the road while we waited. The last, a doe, paused right in front of my car and turned and stared right at me for about 3 seconds, then followed her team into the forest. It was like she was saying, "Yeah, I know it's your day, but you still have to wait for me. Have a good time." Seriously folks, I'm not making this shit up.

I had a lovely, but brief time having (more) coffee with my family. They calmed me, in their own weird way. I knew I had to be at the hotel to pick up my MOH at a particular time. For some reason, I equated the time I needed to be there, with the time I left the house. Um, duh! Already late! Happily, it was Sunday morning pre-church time in Nashville (trust me folks, you do NOT want to get caught in post-church traffic - it blows!) and I hauled ass to the hotel in no-time flat. My MOH was waiting outside (God love her!) and she hopped in and we were off - right on schedule!

We arrived at J. Bangs Salon and Julie arrived a few minutes later (yes, I was slightly worried for about a nanosecond) and we got to doin' the 'do! Jonathon, Sharon and Tabitha arrived shortly thereafter and we were off and running!

I had a slight amendment to the up-do from the trial and was just slightly nervous. No worries, Julie knocked it out of the park!

Hair done, sans make-up.

I just LOVE Julie's expression here!

The MOH in her active role as Social Historian.

DIY hair toys? Check!

Sooooooooooooo relaxing!

Julie's palette.

Once we had our hair and make-up done, we sent Tabitha (my planner) on a quick run across the street to Bread & Co. to grab us some grub! Seriously ladies, you MUST eat. If Tabitha had not insisted, I probably would have passed out from hunger later during the day! With to-go sammies in hand, we jumped in the car and headed back to the Hilton to finish getting ready!

Jonathon rode with us!

We look like a couple of hippies! Love it!

I know I mentioned this once before, but I felt so pretty the day of my wedding. I highly recommend a make-up artist if it's in your budget. As y'all know, I blew my budget in the beauty area. I. Don't. Care. I didn't care then and I don't care now. I was just soaring I felt so pretty.

I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty and witty and bright!
And I pity
Any girl who isn't me tonight.

Sorry. Channeling my inner West Side Story fantasy. Stay tuned for more!

Sportin' my Wedding Chicks t-shirt!

I will say this and I will keep saying it. I LOVE MY PHOTOGRAPHER.

PICTURES! PICTURES! PICTURES!!!!!

THE FIRST ROUND OF PICTURES IS UP!
THE FIRST ROUND OF PICTURES IS UP!

Go now. Go fast. Go see Part I of The Thirty-Something Bride and The Candyman.
Go here. Go now.

I am so excited, I might pee myself.