Bubbies

OK, so after the ladies and I finished the OOT bags, we headed out shopping. I needed a rehearsal ensemble and just a girl's day out at The Mall. Y'know what I mean? Some days, a girl just has to shop. And shop we did. I did find a rehearsal ensemble and I'll get into that later, but what I'm going to share now is really important. Really.

CLEAVAGE

Now, I think I might have mentioned a time or two before that I just don't have a large set of twins on my body. God is fair. He made me tall and somewhat lean. I have a bit of a booty. He doesn't give it all to everyone unless He wreaks havoc on the rest of your life (Britney Spears, for example). I'm happy with what I've got and with the fact that I have had very little wrath rained down upon me. Thankfully, I can buy lots of things to help matters in the cleavage department when I need to.

At my first official dress fitting, it was clear that additions were to be made. We had to take the sides in, the front in and add C-cup pads to get the dress to even remotely fit in the boobs. Please note Exhibit A below. I cut off my head because the picture is horrrrrrrrid, but you can clearly see the boob issues. To emphasize what isn't emphasized in my dress, in this photo I am wearing TWO (yes, TWO) B-cup pads. The sides had been pinned and nothing was done to the front.


Please note the gaping holes in the dress where boob should be. We thought that adding the C-cup pads (since I was wearing 2 B's in this shot) would be plenty. Nope. That is simply not the case. At my last fitting, the seamstress had pulled the front cross-over portion in to tighten the gap. It fit better, but there was still, um...space. She went and got one of those small pad insert things and I put those in. The twins popped right up into place and it looked like I had massive, amazing cleavage. Sweet.

So I knew I'd have to buy some of those pad thingies. I looked around on-line, but really wasn't happy with what I saw, nor did I really understand what I saw. I knew it was going to have to be a touchie-feelie sort of thing. So, while we were out shopping, we popped into some random lingerie shops. I hate over-paying for anything at Victoria's Secret, so we hit Aerie, the lingerie store from America Eagle. Jackpot! I found exactly what I was looking for: chicken cutlets!

Yes, chicken cutlets. That's what they totally look like. I mean, look at them! One might be tempted to bread those suckers up and fry them in some oil.

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The top cutlets are the smaller inserts called "Show Off A Little." The larger ones are called "Show Off A Lot." I bought both since I'm not sure which one will look best. They said I could return the one I didn't need, so that's cool. The smaller cutlets were $14.50 and the larger cutlets were $29.50. We'll see which one works breast. I mean, best. Oh, I crack myself up.

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Just as a quickie update: we only have one outstanding RSVP now (Oh Hags, please just call me back for goodness sake!). Well, technically four including the last minute invitations that went out today to my mom's cousin, her husband (both of whom I've met once) and my great aunt (who actually rocks). I think perhaps I will discuss this last minute invite topic at a later date.

The cops found The Candyman's truck in a parking lot less than 5 miles from our house. Nothing seems to be wrong with it, so that's good.

I had a gigantic WPM night before last, but I think The Candyman did too. I think it was more of just a meltdown in general. I cannot wait to be married on our honeymoon! 18 more days!!!!!!!