Wednesday, November 4, 2009

"I Wish" Wednesday

I so wish that I could stop obsessing about the things that went wrong at the wedding. Really, only two things sucked and everything else was over-the-top fabulousity. I think I’m just going to vent those things now and be done with it.

First, y’all know that the bartender thing at Aloft Hotel was a bust. I have heard back from them. They sent me a Starwood Hotel Preferred Guest card with 20,000 points on it. The card they set up for me was a new card. If they had thought to check, they would know that I’m already a Starwood Preferred Guest and I already have a card. So now, I have to go through the process of changing the card numbers over to ONE card and transferring the points, blah, blah, blah. More of a pain in the ass than it’s even worth. Aloft Hotel – YOU FAIL.


The other thing that I didn’t like was the DJ. At all. I met her at one of the bridal shows and thought that having a female DJ would be cool and different and un-cheesy. I left the music management up to The Candyman. He met with her, discussed our music tastes and he was happy with the meeting so we hired her.

Months before the wedding I sent her the Martha Stewart list of songs that I blogged about here. She emailed me saying that adding the songs we liked wouldn’t be an issue and she thought the songs were cool. A few weeks before the wedding, we sent her our full list of songs we wanted. It was very specific. This is what she received from us:

For the Atmosphere

Anything by Otis Redding, Sam Cooke, Ray Charles, The Drifters (Think Myrtle Beach Shag/Beach Music Festival)

Classic Country (Nothing recorded after 1980)


Anything by Mahalia Jackson

Early Slow Dances

Givin’ Him Something He Can Feel/ Aretha Franklin

You Send Me/ Sam Cooke

At Last/ Etta James

Jet Lag/ Joss Stone

Picking up the Pace

Do You Love Me/ The Contours

Hallellujah, I Love Her So/ Ray Charles

Fell in Love with a Boy/ Joss Stone

Rasberry Beret/ Prince

Higher and Higher/ Jackie Wilson

Forver/Chris Brown

Getting the Way Down and Dirty

Rock Your Body/ Justin Timberlake

Goin’ Down/ Freddie King

Nothin’ but a G Thang/ Dr. Dre

Gett Off/ Prince

Sexy Back/ Justin Timberlake

Blame it on the Boogie/Jackson 5

Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)/ Beyonce

Candyman/ Christina Aguilera

Mellowing Out

Destiny/ Zero 7

Every Morning/ Keb Mo

Pretty specific, right? We had also sent her a time line of the evening and what kind of music we wanted during dinner and the cocktail hour. Well, when we walked into Mere Bulles, the first thing I noticed was the blaring music. I think the first thing I told Tabitha (who was standing right at my elbow – God love her) was (in somewhat of a bridezilla manner that I must now apologize for), “The music is WAY too loud and what the hell is she playing? Light cocktail/dinner music now and have her turn it down!” Within nano-seconds the music was lowered and more appropriate. But I swear, I thought I was in a freakin’ dance club when I first walked in. Not a good start.

And as an aside, I have to say that whenever I needed Tabitha, I looked up and there she was. She was always at the ready and that was so comforting. The fact that the music changed instantly (I swear, it was like a light switch it happened so fast), I knew I could relax and that she would handle everything. I knew that at the church too, but Mere Bulles is where it set in. I think I was too busy with the whole “getting married” thing at the church to worry.

I barely noticed the music during dinner, as it did remain low and unobtrusive. However, I don’t remember hearing anything that we requested. I’m not going to bitch too much about that though because she may have played it and I didn’t notice or hear it.

After we cut the cake, we had out first dance and father/daughter dance, which were fine. The music that she started playing after that was questionable. She really could not and did not read the crowd. We had told her that our guests were a tad older. I mean, we’re in our thirties, our parents are in their fifties and sixties as our many of our older family members. All of our friends are in their thirties and up, for the most part. I have to think hard about who was under thirty! So, playing all sorts of club music straight out of the gate? Not smart. I mean, some of the songs I liked and requested, it was just her timing sucked. Bad. Out of the entire list above, I remember hearing three songs. Three. We really wanted our guests to dance and have fun, but that really didn’t happen. Both of our families are from the South. They all dig beach/shag music and most people enjoy dancing to that style of music. I can’t remember hearing one song that fell into that genre, not one. On top of all that, other than the scheduled dances with The Candyman and my dad, I don’t think she played one slow song. Um, what? Seriously, I danced one kinda slow song with my brother and that was it.

After the wedding, I polled some good friends and they all agreed that the DJ sucked.

While I don’t think it ruined anything, I don’t think it was all that it could have been. I think people still had fun, but it really kind of pissed me off that after all the information we shared with the DJ, she just played really standard, blasé wedding music – which is what we really did not want. I guess this is a perfect example of how the best laid plans can go awry and that there are just some things you have to let go, deal with and make the best of. I think I did that during the wedding. It’s just now that I’m obsessing over it, which is so incredibly stupid. Let me repeat. So. Incredibly. Stupid.

So my wish for Wednesday is layered:

Stop obsessing over the damn DJ.

Find the positive in the fact that you can share this info with fellow brides – so that they too will know that things won’t be perfect, but that it will not affect how you feel unless you let it.

Make sure you’ve got a kick-ass day-of planner.


  1. Okay, this is really good to know. DJ and aLoft hotel, since we had it on our maybe list.

    Who was your DJ, if you don't mind me asking? That's the vendor I'm booking next!

  2. Our DJ was a poror decision as well--they didn't play most of the songs we requested. I supposed they "read the crowd" ok, because people stayed out on the dance floor (but we had a younger wedding with lots of dancers), but it was so disappointing not to hear our favorites and dance them with our friends. The DJ hounded me about the schedule I gave him and I just wanted him to chill out! I didn't care if our first dance wsa 20 minutes off was my wedding, and I was having FUN!

    ps. we didn't have a DOC. maybe that was a mistake?

  3. i totally agree. our wedding coordinator rocked, while our dj did just fine. there were some songs that were questionable choices, but for the most part we were very happy and our guests enjoyed.

  4. Sad you couldn't make it last night. We had a huge convo about whether we can be completely honest with vendor reviews on our blog. You go girl!

  5. Shout out to Mr. Chic 'n Cheap Living because HE was our DJ and rocked! We had the requisite friends boogying down and old ladies grabbing my husband.
    Sorry about the hotel thing - I totally missed that post, what happened?
    The dj thing sucks too. Seriously though, most djs I've seen at weddings just weren't that good. The crowd reading thing is definitely a good skill to have.

  6. OHMYGOD I KNOW!! My DJ experience was practically the same. Haven't I talked to you about my DJ? We should talk about our DJs. So lame. And, you know what's funny, when I met your DJ when you and I went to the big show, I got a weird vibe. But, I wasn't going to be that lame person and look like I was ruining things for you. I can totally see how she wouldn't have been great. WHATEVER! Let's have duet make-up wedding receptions!!!!