Wednesday, October 7, 2009

"I Got it at Jared!" And Boy, Am I Sorry I Did!

Bling! Bling! Bling! This picture really doesn't do it justice. At all.

Back when The Candyman and I were ring shopping, I had my heart set on a halo style ring. The only bummer was that we weren't going to be able to afford a ring that I really wanted. I didn't want anything crazy, just nice. Happily, my Mom and Dad came to the rescue in terms of the diamond. I blogged about it decades ago (at least it feels that way) here.

In my search for the perfect ring (and eventually, the setting) I found a style that I loved at Jared. The store is near my office so I went in a few times at lunch and looked around. Because I was so nervous, I don't think I really registered the fact that I was being swarmed by sales people. After my mom gave us her ring and we went seriously setting shopping, we went back to Jared. We met with this super-cool sale woman and we loved her. A lot. So much so that we bought the ring, the band and The Candyman's band all at once. I called about 2 months after the purchase to talk to her about something ring-related and she no longer worked there. Great.

Fast-forward to my 6 month "ring check-up." I called ahead and they said it would only take a few minutes, so I went in at lunch. I was approached by FOUR different sales people in a span of about 8 minutes. The shop is MAYBE 800 square feet. I had placed myself at the service window, away from the counters to avoid further assault. Did this work? No. Another sales person came up to me and asked if I needed help. I told her (as I told the four others), "For the fifth time, NO! I'm getting my ring serviced and I'm not here to buy anything. Please tell the other vultures that I'm not buying!" She looked stunned and shocked and offended that I was abrupt (yes, and rude) in a jewelry store. I told her, "No one wants to feel like they're in a used car lot. The sales people here need to communicate with each other as to who has been helped and who has not. I am clearly waiting at the service counter and am not shopping." She went crawling back under her rock like I'd crushed her first born with a Mack truck or something. I felt no pity for her.

With the pending nuptials on the horizon, I figured I had to bite the bullet and go back to Jared to get my ring cleaned. I went in yesterday at lunch. I walked up to the first person I saw and asked if I could get my engagement ring cleaned as I was getting married this weekend (like every good bride, I'm mentioning this fact to everyone who crosses my path). The first words out her mouth?

Bleach Blonde Jared Whore: Well, did you buy it here?

In my head: Yes, you effing bitch, I did.

Out of my mouth: Yes, I bought the setting here. The diamond is a family heirloom.

Bleach Blonde Jared Whore: Oh, well does it need to be serviced?

In my head: No, you effing bitch. LISTEN to me, I said I needed it cleaned.

Out of my mouth: No, just cleaned.

Bleach Blonde Jared Whore: When are your service months, does it need to be serviced?

In my head: Louise, please don't punch her.

Out of my mouth: My months are May and December. I am getting married on Sunday. My ring is dirty. I need it cleaned. Can you clean it considering I bought my setting, band and my fiance's band here? Is this a problem?

Bleach Blonde Jared Whore: I guess not. Let me have it.

In my head: DON'T punch her. Don't do it. Tell The Candyman to punch her. He'll promise to do it, even though he wouldn't hurt a fly, but it will make you feel better because he'll promise to punch her.

Out of my mouth: Here.

So I wander over to one of the counters to pass the time. I am approached.

Decrepit Jared Tool Who Used to Sell Cars: Can I help you?

In my head: Here we go again......

Out of my mouth: No, thank you. I've been helped.

Decrepit Jared Tool Who Used to Sell Cars: Can I get you some watercoffeecappucino?

In my head: I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

Out of my mouth: No, thank you. I've been helped. I'm just getting my ring cleaned.

Decrepit Jared Tool Who Used to Sell Cars: Oh, are you getting it serviced?

In my head: What is this with the "service"?

Out of my mouth: No. Just cleaned.

Decrepit Jared Tool Who Used to Sell Cars: Are you sure I can't get you any watercoffeecappucino?

In my head: Go away. Go away. Go away.

Out of my mouth: NO, thank you.

So a few minutes later, the Bleach Blonde Jared Whore comes back with my ring. I thank her and nearly sprint out of the store. I slip my ring on and look at it. It was so not clean. Sigh.

So after work I go to The Shane Company, where I walk in, more than a little distracted.

Lady Behind the Counter: Hi! Welcome! Is there anything I can help you with?

In my head: Don't be annoyed yet. Don't be annoyed yet.

Out of my mouth: Yes, I hope so. I would like to get my ring cleaned, but I didn't buy it here. Is that a problem?

Lady Behind Counter: No, not at all. Can I clean your other ring for you as well?

In my head: Oh, hey! Look at that! That ring is dirty too.

Out of my mouth: Wow. That would be really nice, thanks!

Lady Behind Counter: The cleaning will take about 10 minutes. Please look around if you'd like. My name is Atia, if you need anything.

In my head: *Sigh*

Out of my mouth: Thanks!

Atia comes back out and we chat a little, light convo, nothing big. I thoroughly examine every ring and setting there and decide that yes, my ring is much prettier than everything there. I wander over to the men's counter and see some really cool guy's bracelets. I make eye contact with Atia and she comes over and shows me the bracelets that are surprisingly, really affordable! I end up buying two, one for each of The Candyman's brothers who will be at the wedding (one can't come and the other passed away). During this process, I bitch to Atia about Jared's. She was shocked that I had my ring cleaned there not 7 hours earlier. While I'm paying and waiting, Atia says, "Without sounding like an obnoxious Jared's used car saleman, I mean, jewelry salesman, can I offer you some bottled water?" In my head AND out of my mouth: "I love you."


  1. hahahaha! First of all your post totally cracked me up. "BBJW" that's funny!!!!
    2nd...I am in the same boat as you..meaning I found out that I LOVED the Shane Co.
    We got my ering there but made the mistake of getting my wedding ring at a local company called "Marcy". I had nothing but trouble with them and ended up having to go buy another band some Shane Co. I have had NOTHING but good things to say about Shane Co. They really are the best and I wish I would have done all my biz there.

  2. Oh...that makes me sad. I worked in the jewellery industry for years (grew up in it, in fact) and we never had individual commission for that exact reason--we didn't want our customers to feel like they were being attacked. Even though the second store didn't have what you wanted it sounds like they would have bent over backwards to get it for you.

  3. Ugh what a pain! I hate going into a store that I know the employees work on commission because I feel like a dying animal with the vultures hovering. I'm glad the 2nd store was so great. The Jared people should read your post and learn from it!

    Also, I have a little something for you over on my blog.

  4. Louise, I want your ring! I'm going to have my ring redone into a halo in a few years.

    Man, what a sucky experience at Jared's. My friend got her e-ring there, but didn't seem to have as much drama. Luckily the people at David S. (my e-ring's original home) are super quick and efficient about ring cleaning. Ring cleaning is the best thing ever. Do it whenever you can.

  5. that is absolutely hilarious!! you crack me up. I'm sorry that you had such a tough time with the crazy vulture sales people... but your ring really is gorgeous!! :)

  6. What a funny post! But seriously, those Jared's people sounds awful! That's good you found a better place to go to.

  7. Hilarious. It really skeezes me out how jewelry salespeople are very similar to used car "professionals". No thank you.

  8. Ha ha, that is so funny! Your ring is gorgeous too!

    Hope you are having a sort of relaxing wedding week otherwise!

  9. I am not surprised at all! I'm forwarding this to Kyle and my friend Lori, who used to work at Shane!


  10. Their commercials make me want to vomit. We didn't step foot into Jared because of the commercials and an ex named ... Jarod.

    We ran into a few car sales jewelry associates too. I feel your pain: they can be frustrating.

    Your ring is gorgeous!

  11. I'm not familiar with the store you're talking about, but that's ridiculous. I loved reading the story and hope the ring sparkles like they day you first put it on :)

  12. haha what a fabulously amusing post! That ring is to die for... :)

  13. What a post!! I am so glad I didn't get my rings there lol. Your ring is absolutely beautiful by the way.

    Have a great rest of the week

  14. oh how sales associates can ruin an experience. i'm glad you were able to find a store that would help clean your rings w/out being too overwhelming!

  15. I love what goes on inside your head.
    I hope you both are truly blessed throughout your marriage. Congratulations!!1