At any rate, I met up with her last October when I was in Guangdong and we had drinks and dinner together. I had not seen her in 20+ years, but it was like no time had passed at all. It felt like we had just finished watching "Purple Rain" on the Beta Max for the umpteenth time and had settled in for boy-talk and cookie dough consumption.
She was able to take the train to Hong Kong today and I met her around 11am and we spent the day having lunch, shopping at H&M and Gucci (I officially own my first Gucci drawstring Hobo) and sitting by Victoria Harbour, enjoying a few glasses of chardonnay. My friend has experienced many personal trials this year. While I'd love to get specific so that I can get specific, I must respect her privacy. However, I can share some of the outcomes of our conversations here that don't necessarily breach the trust of friendship.
- I cannot judge my relationship based on what I see in other relationships. No one knows what happens behind closed doors, when life gets real.
- Making a commitment of your body and soul to another human being is HUGE. What this means in the long run is any persons guess. There is no guide book that determines YOUR path.
- I believe that there is a process of maturation for women. Maybe not maturation, but one of self-discovery. I can only describe it as a time where you finally pull you head out of your ass, take a look around and assess the damage - both internally and externally. What you do at that stage can determine a lot about your future and who you decide to be.
- You need to commit yourself to your partner and your marriage every day - as a conscious choice.
- Take no one thing or person for granted - ever.
There are a few things I feel lucky about:
- That I know I can change.
- That I know I will change.
- That I know that I don't know it all.
- That I know that I will never know it all.
- That I know I can't control everything, try as I might.
- That I am aware.
- That I met my soon-to-be husband and fell in love with him, faults and all.
- That my soon-to-be husband was willing and able to chip away at my self-built wall to take a peek inside.
- That once he got a glimpse of the insides, wanted to stay.
There are a few things I feel somewhat unlucky about:
- That I had to do what I did to be in a place to welcome my soon-to-be husband into my life. While there are no regrets, I wish I was still a twenty-nothing with the same experiences under my belt. This wish is purely for vanity reasons alone.
- That the tick-tick of the clock is a part of procreation conversations between me and The Candyman.
I think as long as the pro list continues to out-weigh the con list, we're doing A-OK.
Ah, the trials and tribulations of The Thirty-Something Bride.