Saturday, May 23, 2009

Big Mean Turtle

While this isn't very wedding/bride related, I think it merits a post.

I was driving home from the gym yesterday, chatting on the phone with my friend in California (hands-free device, of course). I generally take this lonely back road because it has beautiful farms, rolling hills and old oak trees that line both sides of the road. There is no shoulder and in some spots, pitches into a ditch.

I came over the top of a hill and saw something in the road. No one was behind me or in front of me so I stopped to check it out. It was a HUGE turtle, the biggest I've ever seen in my life up close. I didn't want to leave him there, nor did I want to leave my car parked just over the crest of a hill. I was asking my friend what I should do - how I should move him and she said to just pick him up. Hell, NO! This turtle's shell was easily over a foot long and he didn't even scoot in his shell when I walked over to him. I nudged his rear end with my foot to try to move him along and the thing snapped at me! I, of course, screamed. I'm sure my friend went partially deaf. I have no idea why this turtle was so mean, or why I was so afraid of the damn thing.

I continued to scoot, scream, jump. Scoot, scream, jump. Scoot, scream, jump - until I had him as close to the edge of the road as I could. I tried to get him off, but he kept holding on with his mean little turtle claws. I told my friend that no one would believe me. Then I remembered I had a camera in my purse, so I took his picture. Behold the ferocious turtle who nearly ate me, even though I was trying to help him.


  1. Cousin, it is probably a snapping turtle, which is probably why it snapped at you. Did it hiss, too? It doesn't look like the really nasty Alligator Snapping Turtle, which has appeared in many of my son's books, but it does look a lot like the Common Snapping Turtle. Check on the CST on Wikipedia and scroll down to look at the picture of the female.

  2. I found out that it was a snapping turtle! Apparently, they have them here. I've heard of them, but thought they existed in places like the Amazon, or some idiotic nonsense. It's a good thing I didn't attempt to pick it up as it probable would have bitten me. You have to grab the front & back of the shell versus the sides, which is what I would have done.

  3. You are cracking me up because I have a completely similar situation, and also blogged about it LOL My Mean Mr. Snapper was also quite large, but I think yours has mine beat. Anyway, he was just chillin' in the middle of our busy neighborhood road while I was running one day. I, stupidly, DID try to pick him up (via the sides) and he in turn, tried to kill me. He snapped & hissed and I completely dropped him on the pavement, oops! Funnier still, I saw the same turtle walking a few days later - I glared at him & kept on walking :)

  4. ew! we saw one of these at a wedding this weekend! theres no way I'd touch it!

  5. I heard that a turtle's snap can literally bite your hand off. Thank GOODNESS you are ok! I saw a sea turtle in Mexico... funny how turtles are popping up everywhere :)

  6. I am SO happy I didn't touch that thing with anything other than my foot.